5 midnigh+sun-第48章
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strengthening。 It grew into its own force； like another entity in the car。 A presence that
demanded recognition。
It had that； I burned。 The burning was acceptable； though。 It seemed strangely
appropriate to me。 I had been given so much tonight—more than I'd expected。 And here
she was； still willingly at my side。 I owed something in return for that。 A sacrifice。 A
burnt offering。
Now if I could just keep it to that； just burn； and nothing more。 But the venom
filled my mouth； and my muscles tensed in anticipation； as if I were hunting？
I had to keep such thoughts from my mind。 And I knew what would distract me。
〃Now；〃 I said to her； fear of her response taking the edge off the burn。 〃It's your
turn。〃
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
195
9。 Theory
〃Can I ask just one more？〃 she entreated instead of answering my demand。
I was on edge； anxious for the worst。 And yet； how tempting it was to prolong
this moment。 To have Bella with me； willingly； for just a few seconds longer。 I sighed at
the dilemma； and then said； 〃One。〃
〃Well？；〃 she hesitated for a moment； as if deciding which question to voice。
〃You said you knew I hadn't gone into the bookstore； and that I had gone south。 I was
just wondering how you know that。〃
I glared out the windshield。 Here was another question that revealed nothing on
her part； and too much on mine。
〃I thought we were past all the evasiveness；〃 she said； her tone critical and
disappointed。
How ironic。 She was relentlessly evasive； without even trying。
Well； she wanted me to be direct。 And this conversation wasn't going anywhere
good； regardless。
〃Fine； then；〃 I said。 〃I followed your scent。〃
I wanted to watch her face； but I was afraid of what I would see。 Instead； I
listened to her breath accelerate and then stabilize。 She spoke again after a moment； and
her voice was steadier than I would have expected。
〃And then you didn't answer one of my first questions？〃 she said。
I looked down at her； frowning。 She was stalling； too。
〃Which one？〃
〃How does it work—the mind reading thing？〃 she asked； reiterating her question
from the restaurant。 〃Can you read anybody's mind； anywhere？ How do you do it？ Can
the rest of your family？？〃 She trailed off； flushing again。
〃That's more than one；〃 I said。
She just looked at me； waiting for her answers。
And why not tell her？ She'd already guessed most of this； and it was an easier
subject that the one that loomed。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
196
〃No； it's just me。 And I can't hear anyone； anywhere。 I have to be fairly close。
The more familiar someone's？'voice' is； the farther away I can hear them。 But still； no
more than a few miles。〃 I tried to think of a way to describe it so that she would
understand。 An analogy that she could relate to。 〃It's a little like being in a huge hall
filled with people； everyone talking at once。 It's just a hum—a buzzing of voices in the
background。 Until I focus on one voice； and then what they're thinking is clear。 Most of
the time I tune it all out—it can be very distracting。 And then it's easier to seem normal；〃
—I grimaced— 〃when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thoughts rather than
their words。〃
〃Why do you think you can't hear me？〃 she wondered。
I gave her another truth and another analogy。
〃I don't know；〃 I admitted。 〃The only guess I have is that maybe your mind
doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do。 Like your thoughts are on the AM
frequency and I'm only getting FM。〃
I realized that she would not like this analogy。 The anticipation of her reaction
had me smiling。 She didn't disappoint。
〃My mind doesn't work right？〃 she asked； her voice rising with chagrin。 〃I'm a
freak？〃
Ah； the irony again。
〃I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak。〃 I laughed。
She understood all the small things； and yet the big ones she got backwards。 Always the
wrong instincts？
Bella was gnawing on her lip； and the crease between her eyes was etched deep。
〃Don't worry；〃 I reassured her。 〃It's just a theory？〃 And there was a more
important theory to be discussed。 I was anxious to get it over with。 Each passing second
was beginning to feel more and more like borrowed time。
〃Which brings us back to you；〃 I said； divided in two； both anxious and reluctant。
She sighed； still chewing her lip—I worried that she would hurt herself。 She
stared into my eyes； her face troubled。
〃Aren't we past all the evasions now？〃 I asked quietly。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
197
She looked down； struggling with some internal dilemma。 Suddenly； she
stiffened and her eyes flew wide open。 Fear flashed across her face for the first time。
〃Holy crow！〃 she gasped。
I panicked。 What had she seen？ How had I frightened her？
Then she shouted； 〃Slow down！〃
〃What's wrong？〃 I didn't understand where her terror was coming from。
〃You're going a hundred miles an hour！〃 she yelled at me。 She flashed a look out
the window； and recoiled from the dark trees racing past us。
This little thing； just a bit of speed； had her shouting in fear？
I rolled my eyes。 〃Relax； Bella。〃
〃Are you trying to kill us？〃 she demanded； her voice high and tight。
〃We're not going to crash；〃 I promised her。
She sucked in a sharp breath； and then spoke in a slightly more level tone。 〃Why
are you in such a hurry？〃
〃I always drive like this。〃
I met her gaze； amused by her shocked expression。
〃Keep your eyes on the road！〃 she shouted。
〃I've never been in an accident； Bella。 I've never even gotten a ticket。〃 I grinned
at her and touched my forehead。 It made it even more comical—the absurdity of being
able to joke with her about something so secret and strange。 〃Built in radar detector。〃
〃Very funny；〃 she said sarcastically； her voice more frightened than angry。
〃Charlie's a cop； remember？ I was raised to abide by traffic laws。 Besides； if you turn us
into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk； you can probably just walk away。〃
〃Probably；〃 I repeated； and than laughed without humor。 Yes； we would fare
quite differently in a car accident。 She was right to be afraid； despite my driving
abilities？ 〃But you can't。〃
With a sigh； I let the car drift to a crawl。 〃Happy？〃
She eyed the speedometer。 〃Almost。〃
Was this still too fast for her？ 〃I hate driving slow；〃 I muttered； but let the needle
slide another notch down。
〃This is slow？〃 she asked。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
198
〃Enough commentary on my driving；〃 I said impatiently。 How many times had
she dodged my question now？ Three times？ Four？ Were her speculations that horrific？
I had to know—immediately。 〃I'm still waiting for your latest theory。〃
She bit her lip again； and her expression became upset； almost pained。
I reigned in my impatience and softened my voice。 I didn't want her to be
distressed。
〃I won't laugh；〃 I promised； wishing that it was only embarrassment that made
her unwilling to talk。
〃I'm more afraid that you'll be angry with me；〃 she whispered。
I forced my voice to stay even。 〃Is it that bad？〃
〃Pretty much； yeah。〃
She looked down； refusing to meet my eyes。 The seconds passed。
〃Go ahead；〃 I encouraged。
Her voice was small。 〃I don't know how to start。〃
〃Why don't you start at the beginning？〃 I remembered her words before dinner。
〃You said you didn't come up with this on your own。〃
〃No；〃 she agreed； and then was silent again。
I thought about things that might have inspired her。 〃What got you started—a
book？ A movie？〃
I should have looked through her collections when she was out of the house。 I
had no idea if Bram Stoker or Anne Rice was there in her stack of worn paperbacks？
〃No；〃 she said again。 〃It was Saturday； at the beach。〃
I hadn't expected that。 The local gossip about us had never strayed into anything
too bizarre—or too precise。 Was there a new rumor I'd missed？ Bella peeked up from
her hands and saw the surprise on my face。
〃I ran into an old family friend—Jacob Black；〃 she went on。 〃His dad and
Charlie have been friends since I was a baby。〃
Jacob Black—the name was not familiar； and
