5 midnigh+sun-第49章
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〃I ran into an old family friend—Jacob Black；〃 she went on。 〃His dad and
Charlie have been friends since I was a baby。〃
Jacob Black—the name was not familiar； and yet it reminded me of
something？some time； long ago？ I stared out of the windshield； flipping through
memories to find the connection。
〃His dad is one of the Quileute elders；〃 she said。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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Jacob Black。 Ephraim Black。 A descendant； no doubt。
It was as bad as it could get。
She knew the truth。
My mind was flying through the ramifications as the car flew around the dark
curves in the road； my body rigid with anguish—motionless except for the small；
automatic actions it took to steer the car。
She knew the truth。
But？if she'd learned the truth Saturday？then she'd known it all evening
long？and yet？
〃We went for a walk；〃 she went on。 〃And he was telling me about some old
legends—trying to scare me； I think。 He told me one？〃
She stopped short； but there was no need for her qualms now； I knew what she
was going to say。 The only mystery left was why she was here with me now。
〃Go on；〃 I said。
〃About vampires；〃 she breathed； the words less than a whisper。
Somehow； it was even worse than knowing that she knew； hearing her speak the
word aloud。 I flinched at the sound of it； and then controlled myself again。
〃And you immediately thought of me？〃 I asked。
〃No。 He？mentioned your family。〃
How ironic that it would be Ephraim's own progeny that would violate the treaty
he'd vowed to uphold。 A grandson； or great…grandson perhaps。 How many years had it
been？ Seventy？
I should have realized that it was not the old men who believed in the legends that
would be the danger。 Of course； the younger generation—those who would have been
warned； but would have thought the ancient superstitions laughable—of course that was
where the danger of exposure would lie。
I supposed this meant I was now free to slaughter the small； defenseless tribe on
the coastline； were I so inclined。 Ephraim and his pack of protectors were long dead？
〃He just thought it was a silly superstition；〃 Bella said suddenly； her voice edged
with a new anxiety。 〃He didn't expect me to think anything of it。〃
Out of the corner of my eye； I saw her twist her hands uneasily。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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〃It was my fault；〃 she said after a brief pause； and then she hung her head as if she
were ashamed。 〃I forced him to tell me。〃
〃Why？〃 It wasn't so hard to keep my voice level now。 The worst was already
done。 As long as we spoke of the details of the revelation； we didn't have to move on to
the consequences of it。
〃Lauren said something about you—she was trying to provoke me。〃 She made a
little face at the memory。 I was slightly distracted； wondering how Bella would be
provoked by someone talking about me？ 〃And an older boy from the tribe said your
family didn't come to the reservation； only it sounded like he meant something different。
So I got Jacob alone and I tricked it out of him。〃
Her head dropped even lower as she admitted this； and her expression
looked？guilty。
I looked away from her and laughed out loud。 She felt guilty？ What could she
possibly have done to deserve censure of any kind？
〃Tricked him how？〃 I asked。
〃I tried to flirt—it worked better than I thought it would；〃 she explained； and her
voice turned incredulous at the memory of that success。
I could just imagine—considering the attraction she seemed to have for all things
male； totally unconscious on her part—how overwhelming she would be when she tried
to be attractive。 I was suddenly full of pity for the unsuspecting boy she'd unleashed
such a potent force on。
〃I'd like to have seen that；〃 I said； and then I laughed again with the black humor。
I wished I could have heard the boy's reaction； witnessed the devastation for myself。
〃And you accused me of dazzling people—poor Jacob Black。〃
I wasn't as angry with the source of my exposure as I would have expected to
feel。 He didn't know better。 And how could I expect anyone to deny this girl what she
wanted？ No； I only felt sympathy for the damage she would have done to his peace of
mind。
I felt her blush heat the air between us。 I glanced at her； and she was staring out
her window。 She didn't speak again。
〃What did you do then？〃 I prompted。 Time to get back to the horror story。
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〃I did some research on the internet。〃
Ever practical。 〃And did that convince you？〃
〃No；〃 she said。 〃Nothing fit。 Most of it was kind of silly。 And then—〃
She broke off again； and I heard her teeth lock together。
〃What？〃 I demanded。 What had she found？ What had made sense of the
nightmare for her？
There was a short paused； and then she whispered； 〃I decided it didn't matter。〃
Shock froze my thoughts for a half…second； and then it all fit together。 Why she'd
sent her friends away tonight rather than escape with them。 Why she had gotten into my
car with me again instead of running； screaming for the police？
Her reactions were always wrong—always completely wrong。 She pulled danger
toward herself。 She invited it。
〃It didn't matter？〃 I said through my teeth； anger filling me。 How was I supposed
to protect someone so？so？so determined to be unprotected？
〃No；〃 she said in a low voice that was inexplicably tender。 〃It doesn't matter to
me what you are。〃
She was impossible。
〃You don't care if I'm a monster？ If I'm not human？〃
〃No。〃
I started to wonder if she was entirely stable。
I supposed that I could arrange for her to receive the best care available？ Carlisle
would have the connections to find her the most skilled doctors； the most talented
therapists。 Perhaps something could be done to fix whatever it was that was wrong with
her； what ever it was that made her content to sit beside a vampire with her heart beating
calmly and steadily。 I would watch over the facility； naturally； and visit as often as I was
allowed？
〃You're angry；〃 she sighed。 〃I shouldn't have said anything。〃
As if her hiding these disturbing tendencies would help either of us。
〃No。 I'd rather know what you're thinking—even if what you're thinking is
insane。〃
〃So I'm wrong again？〃 she asked； a bit belligerent now。
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〃That's not what I was referring to！〃 My teeth clenched together again。 〃'It
doesn't matter'！〃 I repeated in a scathing tone。
She gasped。 〃I'm right？〃
〃Does it matter？〃 I countered。
She took a deep breath。 I waited angrily for her answer。
〃Not really；〃 she said； her voice composed again。 〃But I am curious。〃
Not really。 It didn't really matter。 She didn't care。 She knew I was inhuman； a
monster； and this didn't really matter to her。
Aside from my worries about her sanity； I began to feel a swelling of hope。 I tried
to quash it。
〃What are you curious about？〃 I asked her。 There were no secrets left； only
minor details。
〃How old are you？〃 she asked。
My answer was automatic and ingrained。 〃Seventeen。〃
〃And how long have you been seventeen？〃
I tried not to smile at the patronizing tone。 〃A while；〃 I admitted。
〃Okay；〃 she said； abruptly enthusiastic。 She smiled up at me。 When I stared
back； anxious again about her mental health； she smiled wider。 I grimaced。
〃Don't laugh；〃 she warned。 〃But how can you come out during the daytime？〃
I laughed despite her request。 Her research had not netted her anything unusual； it
seemed。 〃Myth；〃 I told her。
〃Burned by the sun？〃
〃Myth。〃
〃Sleeping in coffins？〃
〃Myth。〃
Sleep had not been a part of my life for so long—not until these last few nights； as
I'd watched Bella dreaming？
〃I can't sleep；〃 I murmured； answering her question more fully。
She was silent for a moment。
〃At all？〃 she asked。
〃Never；〃 I breathed。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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I stared into her eyes； wide under the thick fringe of lashes； and yearned for sleep。
Not for oblivion； as I had before； not to escape boredom； but because I wanted to dream。
Maybe； if I could be unconscious； if I could dream； I could live for a few hours in a world
whe
