david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第114章
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the best authorities。 As no arguments I could urge； in my
bewildered condition； had the least effect upon his modesty in
inducing him to accept my bedroom； I was obliged to make the
best arrangements I could； for his repose before the fire。 The
mattress of the sofa （which was a great deal too short for his lank
figure）； the sofa pillows； a blanket； the table…cover； a clean
breakfast…cloth； and a great…coat； made him a bed and covering；
for which he was more than thankful。 Having lent him a night…cap；
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David Copperfield
which he put on at once； and in which he made such an awful
figure； that I have never worn one since； I left him to his rest。
I never shall forget that night。 I never shall forget how I turned
and tumbled； how I wearied myself with thinking about Agnes and
this creature； how I considered what could I do； and what ought I
to do； how I could come to no other conclusion than that the best
course for her peace was to do nothing； and to keep to myself what
I had heard。 If I went to sleep for a few moments； the image of
Agnes with her tender eyes； and of her father looking fondly on
her； as I had so often seen him look； arose before me with
appealing faces； and filled me with vague terrors。 When I awoke；
the recollection that Uriah was lying in the next room； sat heavy
on me like a waking nightmare； and oppressed me with a leaden
dread； as if I had had some meaner quality of devil for a lodger。
The poker got into my dozing thoughts besides； and wouldn’t
come out。 I thought； between sleeping and waking； that it was still
red hot； and I had snatched it out of the fire； and run him through
the body。 I was so haunted at last by the idea； though I knew there
was nothing in it； that I stole into the next room to look at him。
There I saw him； lying on his back； with his legs extending to I
don’t know where； gurglings taking place in his throat； stoppages
in his nose； and his mouth open like a post…office。 He was so much
worse in reality than in my distempered fancy； that afterwards I
was attracted to him in very repulsion； and could not help
wandering in and out every half…hour or so； and taking another
look at him。 Still； the long； long night seemed heavy and hopeless
as ever； and no promise of day was in the murky sky。
When I saw him going downstairs early in the morning （for；
thank Heaven！ he would not stay to breakfast）； it appeared to me
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David Copperfield
as if the night was going away in his person。 When I went out to
the Commons； I charged Mrs。 Crupp with particular directions to
leave the windows open； that my sitting…room might be aired； and
purged of his presence。
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David Copperfield
Chapter 26
I FALL INTO CAPTIVITY
Isaw no more of Uriah Heep； until the day when Agnes left
town。 I was at the coach office to take leave of her and see her
go； and there was he； returning to Canterbury by the same
conveyance。 It was some small satisfaction to me to observe his
spare； short…waisted； high…shouldered； mulberry…coloured greatcoat perched up； in company with an umbrella like a small tent； on
the edge of the back seat on the roof； while Agnes was； of course；
inside； but what I underwent in my efforts to be friendly with him；
while Agnes looked on； perhaps deserved that little recompense。
At the coach window； as at the dinner…party； he hovered about us
without a moment’s intermission； like a great vulture： gorging
himself on every syllable that I said to Agnes； or Agnes said to me。
In the state of trouble into which his disclosure by my fire had
thrown me； I had thought very much of the words Agnes had used
in reference to the partnership。 ‘I did what I hope was right。
Feeling sure that it was necessary for papa’s peace that the
sacrifice should be made； I entreated him to make it。’ A miserable
foreboding that she would yield to； and sustain herself by； the
same feeling in reference to any sacrifice for his sake； had
oppressed me ever since。 I knew how she loved him。 I knew what
the devotion of her nature was。 I knew from her own lips that she
regarded herself as the innocent cause of his errors； and as owing
him a great debt she ardently desired to pay。 I had no consolation
in seeing how different she was from this detestable Rufus with
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David Copperfield
the mulberry…coloured great…coat； for I felt that in the very
difference between them； in the self…denial of her pure soul and
the sordid baseness of his； the greatest danger lay。 All this；
doubtless； he knew thoroughly； and had； in his cunning；
considered well。
Yet I was so certain that the prospect of such a sacrifice afar off；
must destroy the happiness of Agnes； and I was so sure； from her
manner； of its being unseen by her then； and having cast no
shadow on her yet； that I could as soon have injured her； as given
her any warning of what impended。 Thus it was that we parted
without explanation： she waving her hand and smiling farewell
from the coach window； her evil genius writhing on the roof； as if
he had her in his clutches and triumphed。
I could not get over this farewell glimpse of them for a long
time。 When Agnes wrote to tell me of her safe arrival； I was as
miserable as when I saw her going away。 Whenever I fell into a
thoughtful state； this subject was sure to present itself； and all my
uneasiness was sure to be redoubled。 Hardly a night passed
without my dreaming of it。 It became a part of my life； and as
inseparable from my life as my own head。
I had ample leisure to refine upon my uneasiness： for
Steerforth was at Oxford； as he wrote to me； and when I was not at
the Commons； I was very much alone。 I believe I had at this time
some lurking distrust of Steerforth。 I wrote to him most
affectionately in reply to his； but I think I was glad； upon the
whole； that he could not come to London just then。 I suspect the
truth to be； that the influence of Agnes was upon me； undisturbed
by the sight of him； and that it was the more powerful with me；
because she had so large a share in my thoughts and interest。
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David Copperfield
In the meantime； days and weeks slipped away。 I was articled to
Spenlow and Jorkins。 I had ninety pounds a year （exclusive of my
house…rent and sundry collateral matters） from my aunt。 My
rooms were engaged for twelve months certain： and though I still
found them dreary of an evening； and the evenings long； I could
settle down into a state of equable low spirits； and resign myself to
coffee； which I seem； on looking back； to have taken by the gallon
at about this period of my existence。 At about this time； too； I
made three discoveries： first； that Mrs。 Crupp was a martyr to a
curious disorder called ‘the spazzums’； which was generally
accompanied with inflammation of the nose； and required to be
constantly treated with peppermint； secondly； that something
peculiar in the temperature of my pantry； made the brandy…bottles
burst； thirdly； that I was alone in the world； and much given to
record that circumstance in fragments of English versification。
On the day when I was articled； no festivity took place； beyond
my having sandwiches and sherry into the office for the clerks；
and going alone to the theatre at night。 I went to see The Stranger；
as a Doctors’ Commons sort of play； and was so dreadfully cut up；
that I hardly knew myself in my own glass when I got home。 Mr。
Spenlow remarked； on this occasion； when we concluded our
business； that he should have been happy to have seen me at his
house at Norwood to celebrate our becoming connected； but for
his domestic arrangements being in some disorder； on account of
the expected return of his daughter from finishing her education
at Paris。 But； he intimated that when she came home he should
hope to have the pleasure of entertaining me。 I knew that he was a
widower with one daughter； and expressed my
acknowledgement
