david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第182章

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to　speak　plain；　and　I　have　mentioned　to　Doctor　Strong　that—did　
you　speak；　sir？’　

This　was　to　the　Doctor；　who　had　moaned。　The　sound　might　
have　touched　any　heart；　I　thought；　but　it　had　no　effect　upon　
Uriah’s。　

‘—mentioned　to　Doctor　Strong；’　he　proceeded；　‘that　anyone　
may　see　that　Mr。　Maldon；　and　the　lovely　and　agreeable　lady　as　is　
Doctor　Strong’s　wife；　are　too　sweet　on　one　another。　Really　the　
time　is　come　（we　being　at　present　all　mixing　ourselves　up　with　
what　oughtn’t　to　be）；　when　Doctor　Strong　must　be　told　that　this　
was　full　as　plain　to　everybody　as　the　sun；　before　Mr。　Maldon　went　
to　India；　that　Mr。　Maldon　made　excuses　to　come　back；　for　nothing　
else；　and　that　he’s　always　here；　for　nothing　else。　When　you　come　
in；　sir；　I　was　just　putting　it　to　my　fellow…partner；’　towards　whom　he　
turned；　‘to　say　to　Doctor　Strong　upon　his　word　and　honour；　
whether　he’d　ever　been　of　this　opinion　long　ago；　or　not。　Come；　Mr。　

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Wickfield；　sir！　Would　you　be　so　good　as　tell　us？　Yes　or　no；　sir？　
Come；　partner！’　

‘For　God’s　sake；　my　dear　Doctor；’　said　Mr。　Wickfield　again　
laying　his　irresolute　hand　upon　the　Doctor’s　arm；　‘don’t　attach　too　
much　weight　to　any　suspicions　I　may　have　entertained。’　

‘There！’　cried　Uriah；　shaking　his　head。　‘What　a　melancholy　
confirmation：　ain’t　it？　Him！　Such　an　old　friend！　Bless　your　soul；　
when　I　was　nothing　but　a　clerk　in　his　office；　Copperfield；　I’ve　seen　
him　twenty　times；　if　I’ve　seen　him　once；　quite　in　a　taking　about　it—　
quite　put　out；　you　know　（and　very　proper　in　him　as　a　father；　I’m　
sure　I　can’t　blame　him）；　to　think　that　Miss　Agnes　was　mixing　
herself　up　with　what　oughtn’t　to　be。’　

‘My　dear　Strong；’　said　Mr。　Wickfield　in　a　tremulous　voice；　‘my　
good　friend；　I　needn’t　tell　you　that　it　has　been　my　vice　to　look　for　
some　one　master　motive　in　everybody；　and　to　try　all　actions　by　one　
narrow　test。　I　may　have　fallen　into　such　doubts　as　I　have　had；　
through　this　mistake。’　

‘You　have　had　doubts；　Wickfield；’　said　the　Doctor；　without　
lifting　up　his　head。　‘You　have　had　doubts。’　

‘Speak　up；　fellow…partner；’　urged　Uriah。　

‘I　had；　at　one　time；　certainly；’　said　Mr。　Wickfield。　‘I—God　
forgive　me—I　thought　you　had。’　

‘No；　no；　no！’　returned　the　Doctor；　in　a　tone　of　most　pathetic　
grief。　‘I　thought；　at　one　time；’　said　Mr。　Wickfield；　‘that　you　wished　
to　send　Maldon　abroad　to　effect　a　desirable　separation。’　

‘No；　no；　no！’　returned　the　Doctor。　‘To　give　Annie　pleasure；　by　
making　some　provision　for　the　companion　of　her　childhood。　
Nothing　else。’　

‘So　I　found；’　said　Mr。　Wickfield。　‘I　couldn’t　doubt　it；　when　you　

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told　me　so。　But　I　thought—I　implore　you　to　remember　the　narrow　
construction　which　has　been　my　besetting　sin—that；　in　a　case　
where　there　was　so　much　disparity　in　point　of　years—’　

‘That’s　the　way　to　put　it；　you　see；　Master　Copperfield！’　observed　
Uriah；　with　fawning　and　offensive　pity。　

‘—a　lady　of　such　youth；　and　such　attractions；　however　real　her　
respect　for　you；　might　have　been　influenced　in　marrying；　by　
worldly　considerations　only。　I　make　no　allowance　for　innumerable　
feelings　and　circumstances　that　may　have　all　tended　to　good。　For　
Heaven’s　sake　remember　that！’　

‘How　kind　he　puts　it！’　said　Uriah；　shaking　his　head。　

‘Always　observing　her　from　one　point　of　view；’　said　Mr。　
Wickfield；　‘but　by　all　that　is　dear　to　you；　my　old　friend；　I　entreat　
you　to　consider　what　it　was；　I　am　forced　to　confess　now；　having　no　
escape—’　

‘No！　There’s　no　way　out　of　it；　Mr。　Wickfield；　sir；’　observed　
Uriah；　‘when　it’s　got　to　this。’　

‘—that　I　did；’　said　Mr。　Wickfield；　glancing　helplessly　and　
distractedly　at　his　partner；　‘that　I　did　doubt　her；　and　think　her　
wanting　in　her　duty　to　you；　and　that　I　did　sometimes；　if　I　must　say　
all；　feel　averse　to　Agnes　being　in　such　a　familiar　relation　towards　
her；　as　to　see　what　I　saw；　or　in　my　diseased　theory　fancied　that　I　
saw。　I　never　mentioned　this　to　anyone。　I　never　meant　it　to　be　
known　to　anyone。　And　though　it　is　terrible　to　you　to　hear；’　said　Mr。　
Wickfield；　quite　subdued；　‘if　you　knew　how　terrible　it　is　for　me　to　
tell；　you　would　feel　compassion　for　me！’　

The　Doctor；　in　the　perfect　goodness　of　his　nature；　put　out　his　
hand。　Mr。　Wickfield　held　it　for　a　little　while　in　his；　with　his　head　
bowed　down。　

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‘I　am　sure；’　said　Uriah；　writhing　himself　into　the　silence　like　a　
Conger…eel；　‘that　this　is　a　subject　full　of　unpleasantness　to　
everybody。　But　since　we　have　got　so　far；　I　ought　to　take　the　liberty　
of　mentioning　that　Copperfield　has　noticed　it　too。’　

I　turned　upon　him；　and　asked　him　how　he　dared　refer　to　me！　

‘Oh！　it’s　very　kind　of　you；　Copperfield；’　returned　Uriah；　
undulating　all　over；　‘and　we　all　know　what　an　amiable　character　
yours　is；　but　you　know　that　the　moment　I　spoke　to　you　the　other　
night；　you　knew　what　I　meant。　You　know　you　knew　what　I　meant；　
Copperfield。　Don’t　deny　it！　You　deny　it　with　the　best　intentions；　
but　don’t　do　it；　Copperfield。’　

I　saw　the　mild　eye　of　the　good　old　Doctor　turned　upon　me　for　a　
moment；　and　I　felt　that　the　confession　of　my　old　misgivings　and　
remembrances　was　too　plainly　written　in　my　face　to　be　
overlooked。　It　was　of　no　use　raging。　I　could　not　undo　that。　Say　
what　I　would；　I　could　not　unsay　it。　

We　were　silent　again；　and　remained　so；　until　the　Doctor　rose　
and　walked　twice　or　thrice　across　the　room。　Presently　he　returned　
to　where　his　chair　stood；　and；　leaning　on　the　back　of　it；　and　
occasionally　putting　his　handkerchief　to　his　eyes；　with　a　simple　
honesty　that　did　him　more　honour；　to　my　thinking；　than　any　
disguise　he　could　have　effected；　said：　

‘I　have　been　much　to　blame。　I　believe　I　have　been　very　much　to　
blame。　I　have　exposed　one　whom　I　hold　in　my　heart；　to　trials　and　
aspersions—I　call　them　aspersions；　even　to　have　been　conceived　in　
anybody’s　inmost　mind—of　which　she　never；　but　for　me；　could　
have　been　the　object。’　

Uriah　Heep　gave　a　kind　of　snivel。　I　think　to　express　sympathy。　

‘Of　which　my　Annie；’　said　the　Doctor；　‘never；　but　for　me；　could　

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have　been　the　object。　Gentlemen；　I　am　old　now；　as　you　know；　I　do　
not　feel；　tonight；　that　I　have　much　to　live　for。　But　my　life—my　
Life—upon　the　truth　and　honour　of　the　dear　lady　who　has　been　
the　subject　of　this　conversation！’　

I　do　not　think　that　the　best　embodiment　of　chivalry；　the　
realization　of　the　handsomest　and　most　romantic　figure　ever　
imagined　by　painter；　could　have　said　this；　with　a　more　impressive　
and　affecting　dignity　than　the　plain　old　Doctor　did。　

‘But　I　am　not　prepared；’　he　went　on；　‘to　deny—perhaps　I　may　
have　been；　without　knowing　it；　in　some　degree　prepared　to　
admit—that　I　may　have　unwittingly　ensnared　that　lady　into　an　
unhappy　marriage。　I　am　a　man　quite　unaccustomed　to　observe；　
and　I　cannot　but　believe　that　the　observation　of　several　people；　of　
different　ages　and　positions；　all　too　plainly　tending　in　one　
direction　（and　that　so　natural）；　is　better　than　mine。’　

I　had　often　admired；　as　I　have　elsewhere　described；　his　
benignant　manner　towards　his　youthful　wife；　but　the　respectful　
tenderness　he　manifested　in　every　reference　to　her　on　this　
occasion；　and　the　almost　reverential　manner　in　which　he　put　away　
from　him　the　lightest　doubt　of　her　integrity；　exalted　him；　in　my　
eyes；　beyond　description。　

‘I　married　that　lady；’　said　the　Doctor；　‘when　she　was　extremely　
young。　I　took　her　to　myself　when　her　character　was　scarcely　
formed。　So　far　as　it　was　developed；　it　had　been　my　happiness　to　
form　it。　I　knew　her　father　well。　I　knew　her　well。　I　had　taught　her　
what　I　could；　for　the　love　of　all　her　beautiful　and　virtuous　qualities。　
If　I　did　her　wrong；　as　I　fear　I　did；　in　taking　advantage　（but　I　never　
meant　it）　of　her　gratitude　and　her　affection；　I　ask　pardon　of　that　
lady；　in　my　heart！’　

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David　Copper