david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第52章
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‘I never will desert Mr。 Micawber。 Mr。 Micawber may have
concealed his difficulties from me in the first instance; but his
sanguine temper may have led him to expect that he would
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overcome them。 The pearl necklace and bracelets which I
inherited from mama; have been disposed of for less than half
their value; and the set of coral; which was the wedding gift of my
papa; has been actually thrown away for nothing。 But I never will
desert Mr。 Micawber。 No!’ cried Mrs。 Micawber; more affected
than before; ‘I never will do it! It’s of no use asking me!’
I felt quite uncomfortable—as if Mrs。 Micawber supposed I had
asked her to do anything of the sort!—and sat looking at her in
alarm。
‘Mr。 Micawber has his faults。 I do not deny that he is
improvident。 I do not deny that he has kept me in the dark as to
his resources and his liabilities both;’ she went on; looking at the
wall; ‘but I never will desert Mr。 Micawber!’
Mrs。 Micawber having now raised her voice into a perfect
scream; I was so frightened that I ran off to the club…room; and
disturbed Mr。 Micawber in the act of presiding at a long table; and
leading the chorus of
Gee up; Dobbin;
Gee ho; Dobbin;
Gee up; Dobbin;
Gee up; and gee ho—o—o!
—with the tidings that Mrs。 Micawber was in an alarming state;
upon which he immediately burst into tears; and came away with
me with his waistcoat full of the heads and tails of shrimps; of
which he had been partaking。
‘Emma; my angel!’ cried Mr。 Micawber; running into the room;
‘what is the matter?’
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‘I never will desert you; Micawber!’ she exclaimed。
‘My life!’ said Mr。 Micawber; taking her in his arms。 ‘I am
perfectly aware of it。’
‘He is the parent of my children! He is the father of my twins!
He is the husband of my affections;’ cried Mrs。 Micawber;
struggling; ‘and I ne—ver—will—desert Mr。 Micawber!’
Mr。 Micawber was so deeply affected by this proof of her
devotion (as to me; I was dissolved in tears); that he hung over her
in a passionate manner; imploring her to look up; and to be calm。
But the more he asked Mrs。 Micawber to look up; the more she
fixed her eyes on nothing; and the more he asked her to compose
herself; the more she wouldn’t。 Consequently Mr。 Micawber was
soon so overcome; that he mingled his tears with hers and mine;
until he begged me to do him the favour of taking a chair on the
staircase; while he got her into bed。 I would have taken my leave
for the night; but he would not hear of my doing that until the
strangers’ bell should ring。 So I sat at the staircase window; until
he came out with another chair and joined me。
‘How is Mrs。 Micawber now; sir?’ I said。
‘Very low;’ said Mr。 Micawber; shaking his head; ‘reaction。 Ah;
this has been a dreadful day! We stand alone now—everything is
gone from us!’
Mr。 Micawber pressed my hand; and groaned; and afterwards
shed tears。 I was greatly touched; and disappointed too; for I had
expected that we should be quite gay on this happy and long…
looked…for occasion。 But Mr。 and Mrs。 Micawber were so used to
their old difficulties; I think; that they felt quite shipwrecked when
they came to consider that they were released from them。 All their
elasticity was departed; and I never saw them half so wretched as
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on this night; insomuch that when the bell rang; and Mr。
Micawber walked with me to the lodge; and parted from me there
with a blessing; I felt quite afraid to leave him by himself; he was
so profoundly miserable。
But through all the confusion and lowness of spirits in which
we had been; so unexpectedly to me; involved; I plainly discerned
that Mr。 and Mrs。 Micawber and their family were going away
from London; and that a parting between us was near at hand。 It
was in my walk home that night; and in the sleepless hours which
followed when I lay in bed; that the thought first occurred to me—
though I don’t know how it came into my head—which afterwards
shaped itself into a settled resolution。
I had grown to be so accustomed to the Micawbers; and had
been so intimate with them in their distresses; and was so utterly
friendless without them; that the prospect of being thrown upon
some new shift for a lodging; and going once more among
unknown people; was like being that moment turned adrift into
my present life; with such a knowledge of it ready made as
experience had given me。 All the sensitive feelings it wounded so
cruelly; all the shame and misery it kept alive within my breast;
became more poignant as I thought of this; and I determined that
the life was unendurable。
That there was no hope of escape from it; unless the escape was
my own act; I knew quite well。 I rarely heard from Miss
Murdstone; and never from Mr。 Murdstone: but two or three
parcels of made or mended clothes had come up for me; consigned
to Mr。 Quinion; and in each there was a scrap of paper to the effect
that J。 M。 trusted D。 C。 was applying himself to business; and
devoting himself wholly to his duties—not the least hint of my ever
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being anything else than the common drudge into which I was fast
settling down。
The very next day showed me; while my mind was in the first
agitation of what it had conceived; that Mrs。 Micawber had not
spoken of their going away without warrant。 They took a lodging
in the house where I lived; for a week; at the expiration of which
time they were to start for Plymouth。 Mr。 Micawber himself came
down to the counting…house; in the afternoon; to tell Mr。 Quinion
that he must relinquish me on the day of his departure; and to give
me a high character; which I am sure I deserved。 And Mr。
Quinion; calling in Tipp the carman; who was a married man; and
had a room to let; quartered me prospectively on him—by our
mutual consent; as he had every reason to think; for I said nothing;
though my resolution was now taken。
I passed my evenings with Mr。 and Mrs。 Micawber; during the
remaining term of our residence under the same roof; and I think
we became fonder of one another as the time went on。 On the last
Sunday; they invited me to dinner; and we had a loin of pork and
apple sauce; and a pudding。 I had bought a spotted wooden horse
over…night as a parting gift to little Wilkins Micawber—that was
the boy—and a doll for little Emma。 I had also bestowed a shilling
on the Orfling; who was about to be disbanded。
We had a very pleasant day; though we were all in a tender
state about our approaching separation。
‘I shall never; Master Copperfield;’ said Mrs。 Micawber; ‘revert
to the period when Mr。 Micawber was in difficulties; without
thinking of you。 Your conduct has always been of the most delicate
and obliging description。 You have never been a lodger。 You have
been a friend。’
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‘My dear;’ said Mr。 Micawber; ‘Copperfield;’ for so he had been
accustomed to call me; of late; ‘has a heart to feel for the distresses
of his fellow…creatures when they are behind a cloud; and a head
to plan; and a hand to—in short; a general ability to dispose of
such available property as could be made away with。’
I expressed my sense of this commendation; and said I was very
sorry we were going to lose one another。
‘My dear young friend;’ said Mr。 Micawber; ‘I am older than
you; a man of some experience in life; and—and of some
experience; in short; in difficulties; generally speaking。 At present;
and until something turns up (which I am; I may say; hourly
expecting); I have nothing to bestow but advice。 Still my advice is
so far worth taking; that—in short; that I have never taken it
myself; and am the’—here Mr。 Micawber; who had been beaming
and smiling; all over his head and face; up to the present moment;
checked himself and frowned—‘the m