the idle thoughts of an idle fellow[1].(一个浪子的随想)-第24章
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stretches out before themwhat grave； old…fashioned looks they seem to
cast！ What pitiful； frightened looks sometimes！ I saw a little mite sitting
on a doorstep in a Soho slum one night； and I shall never forget the look
that the gas…lamp showed me on its wizen facea look of dull despair； as if
from the squalid court the vista of its own squalid life had risen； ghostlike；
and struck its heart dead with horror。
Poor little feet； just commencing the stony journey！ We old travelers；
far down the road； can only pause to wave a hand to you。 You come out of
the dark mist； and we； looking back； see you； so tiny in the distance；
standing on the brow of the hill； your arms stretched out toward us。 God
speed you！ We would stay and take your little hands in ours； but the
murmur of the great sea is in our ears and we may not linger。 We must
hasten down； for the shadowy ships are waiting to spread their sable sails。
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
ON EATING AND DRINKING。
I always was fond of eating and drinking； even as a childespecially
eating； in those early days。 I had an appetite then； also a digestion。 I
remember a dull…eyed； livid…complexioned gentleman coming to dine at
our house once。 He watched me eating for about five minutes； quite
fascinated seemingly； and then he turned to my father with
〃Does your boy ever suffer from dyspepsia？〃
〃I never heard him complain of anything of that kind；〃 replied my
father。 〃Do you ever suffer from dyspepsia； Colly wobbles？〃 （They called
me Colly wobbles； but it was not my real name。）
〃No； pa；〃 I answered。 After which I added：
〃What is dyspepsia； pa？〃
My livid…complexioned friend regarded me with a look of mingled
amazement and envy。 Then in a tone of infinite pity he slowly said：
〃You will knowsome day。〃
My poor； dear mother used to say she liked to see me eat； and it has
always been a pleasant reflection to me since that I must have given her
much gratification in that direction。 A growing； healthy lad； taking plenty
of exercise and careful to restrain himself from indulging in too much
study； can generally satisfy the most exacting expectations as regards his
feeding powers。
It is amusing to see boys eat when you have not got to pay for it。 Their
idea of a square meal is a pound and a half of roast beef with five or six
good…sized potatoes （soapy ones preferred as being more substantial）；
plenty of greens； and four thick slices of Yorkshire pudding； followed by a
couple of currant dumplings； a few green apples； a pen'orth of nuts； half a
dozen jumbles； and a bottle of ginger…beer。 After that they play at horses。
How they must despise us men； who require to sit quiet for a couple of
hours after dining off a spoonful of clear soup and the wing of a chicken！
But the boys have not all the advantages on their side。 A boy never
enjoys the luxury of being satisfied。 A boy never feels full。 He can never
stretch out his legs； put his hands behind his head； and； closing his eyes；
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
sink into the ethereal blissfulness that encompasses the well…dined man。 A
dinner makes no difference whatever to a boy。 To a man it is as a good
fairy's potion； and after it the world appears a brighter and a better place。
A man who has dined satisfactorily experiences a yearning love toward all
his fellow…creatures。 He strokes the cat quite gently and calls it 〃poor
pussy；〃 in tones full of the tenderest emotion。 He sympathizes with the
members of the German band outside and wonders if they are cold； and
for the moment he does not even hate his wife's relations。
A good dinner brings out all the softer side of a man。 Under its genial
influence the gloomy and morose become jovial and chatty。 Sour； starchy
individuals； who all the rest of the day go about looking as if they lived on
vinegar and Epsom salts； break out into wreathed smiles after dinner； and
exhibit a tendency to pat small children on the head and to talk to them
vaguelyabout sixpences。 Serious men thaw and become mildly cheerful；
and snobbish young men of the heavy…mustache type forget to make
themselves objectionable。
I always feel sentimental myself after dinner。 It is the only time when I
can properly appreciate love…stories。 Then； when the hero clasps 〃her〃 to
his heart in one last wild embrace and stifles a sob； I feel as sad as though
I had dealt at whist and turned up only a deuce； and when the heroine dies
in the end I weep。 If I read the same tale early in the morning I should
sneer at it。 Digestion； or rather indigestion； has a marvelous effect upon
the heart。 If I want to write any thing very patheticI mean； if I want to try
to write anything very patheticI eat a large plateful of hot buttered
muffins about an hour beforehand； and then by the time I sit down to my
work a feeling of unutterable melancholy has come over me。 I picture
heartbroken lovers parting forever at lonely wayside stiles； while the sad
twilight deepens around them； and only the tinkling of a distant sheep…bell
breaks the sorrow…laden silence。 Old men sit and gaze at withered flowers
till their sight is dimmed by the mist of tears。 Little dainty maidens wait
and watch at open casements； but 〃he cometh not；〃 and the heavy years
roll by and the sunny gold tresses wear white and thin。 The babies that
they dandled have become grown men and women with podgy torments of
their own； and the playmates that they laughed with are lying very silent
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
under the waving grass。 But still they wait and watch； till the dark
shadows of the unknown night steal up and gather round them and the
world with its childish troubles fades from their aching eyes。
I see pale corpses tossed on white…foamed waves； and death…beds
stained with bitter tears； and graves in trackless deserts。 I hear the wild
wailing of women； the low moaning of little children； the dry sobbing of
strong men。 It's all the muffins。 I could not conjure up one melancholy
fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne。
A full stomach is a great aid to poetry； and indeed no sentiment of any
kind can stand upon an empty one。 We have not time or inclination to
indulge in fanciful troubles until we have got rid of our real misfortunes。
We do not sigh over dead dicky…birds with the bailiff in the house； and
when we do not know where on earth to get our next shilling from； we do
not worry as to whether our mistress' smiles are cold； or hot； or lukewarm；
or anything else about them。
Foolish peoplewhen I say 〃foolish people〃 in this contemptuous way
I mean people who entertain different opinions to mine。 If there is one
person I do despise more than another； it is the man who does not think
exactly the same on all topics as I dofoolish people； I say； then； who
have never experienced much of either； will tell you that mental distress is
far
