a treatise on parents and children(父母与子女专题研究)-第20章
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terrified in the absence of precedents and precepts and commandments；
but modern Democracy allows them a sanctioning and cancelling power if
they are capable of using it； which children are not。 To treat a child
wholly as an adult would be to mock and destroy it。 Infantile docility
and juvenile dependence are； like death； a product of Natural Selection；
and though there is no viler crime than to abuse them； yet there is no
greater cruelty than to ignore them。 I have complained sufficiently of
what I suffered through the process of assault； imprisonment； and
compulsory lessons that taught me nothing； which are called my schooling。
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But I could say a good deal also about the things I was not taught and
should have been taught； not to mention the things I was allowed to do
which I should not have been allowed to do。 I have no recollection of
being taught to read or write； so I presume I was born with both faculties；
but many people seem to have bitter recollections of being forced
reluctantly to acquire them。 And though I have the uttermost contempt
for a teacher so ill mannered and incompetent as to be unable to make a
child learn to read and write without also making it cry； still I am prepared
to admit that I had rather have been compelled to learn to read and write
with tears by an incompetent and ill mannered person than left in
ignorance。 Reading； writing； and enough arithmetic to use money
honestly and accurately； together with the rudiments of law and order；
become necessary conditions of a child's liberty before it can appreciate
the importance of its liberty； or foresee that these accomplishments are
worth acquiring。 Nature has provided for this by evolving the instinct of
docility。 Children are very docile： they have a sound intuition that they
must do what they are told or perish。 And adults have an intuition；
equally sound； that they must take advantage of this docility to teach
children how to live properly or the children will not survive。 The
difficulty is to know where to stop。 To illustrate this； let us consider the
main danger of childish docility and parental officiousness。
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The Abuse of Docility
Docility may survive as a lazy habit long after it has ceased to be a
beneficial instinct。 If you catch a child when it is young enough to be
instinctively docile； and keep it in a condition of unremitted tutelage under
the nurserymaid； the governess； the preparatory school； the secondary
school； and the university； until it is an adult； you will produce； not a self…
reliant； free； fully matured human being； but a grown…up schoolboy or
schoolgirl； capable of nothing in the way of original or independent action
except outbursts of naughtiness in the women and blackguardism in the
men。 That is exactly what we get at present in our rich and consequently
governing classes： they pass from juvenility to senility without ever
touching maturity except in body。 The classes which cannot afford this
sustained tutelage are notably more self…reliant and grown…up： an office
boy of fifteen is often more of a man than a university student of twenty。
Unfortunately this precocity is disabled by poverty； ignorance； narrowness；
and a hideous power of living without art or love or beauty and being
rather proud of it。 The poor never escape from servitude： their docility
is preserved by their slavery。 And so all become the prey of the greedy；
the selfish； the domineering； the unscrupulous； the predatory。 If here and
there an individual refuses to be docile； ten docile persons will beat him or
lock him up or shoot him or hang him at the bidding of his oppressors and
their own。 The crux of the whole difficulty about parents； schoolmasters；
priests； absolute monarchs； and despots of every sort； is the tendency to
abuse natural docility。 A nation should always be healthily rebellious；
but the king or prime minister has yet to be found who will make trouble
by cultivating that side of the national spirit。 A child should begin to
assert itself early； and shift for itself more and more not only in washing
and dressing itself； but in opinions and conduct； yet as nothing is so
exasperating and so unlovable as an uppish child； it is useless to expect
parents and schoolmasters to inculcate this uppishness。 Such unamiable
precepts as Always contradict an authoritative statement； Always return a
blow； Never lose a chance of a good fight； When you are scolded for a
mistake ask the person who scolds you whether he or she supposes you
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did it on purpose； and follow the question with a blow or an insult or some
other unmistakable expression of resentment； Remember that the progress
of the world depends on your knowing better than your elders； are just as
important as those of The Sermon on the Mount； but no one has yet seen
them written up in letters of gold in a schoolroom or nursery。 The child
is taught to be kind； to be respectful； to be quiet； not to answer back； to be
truthful when its elders want to find out anything from it； to lie when the
truth would shock or hurt its elders； to be above all things obedient； and to
be seen and not heard。 Here we have two sets of precepts； each
warranted to spoil a child hopelessly if the other be omitted。
Unfortunately we do not allow fair play between them。 The rebellious；
intractable； aggressive； selfish set provoke a corrective resistance； and do
not pretend to high moral or religious sanctions； and they are never urged
by grown…up people on young people。 They are therefore more in danger
of neglect or suppression than the other set； which have all the adults； all
the laws； all the religions on their side。 How is the child to be secured its
due share of both bodies of doctrine？
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The Schoolboy and the Homeboy
In practice what happens is that parents notice that boys brought up at
home become mollycoddles； or prigs； or duffers； unable to take care of
themselves。 They see that boys should learn to rough it a little and to
mix with children of their own age。 This is natural enough。 When you
have preached at and punished a boy until he is a moral cripple； you are as
much hampered by him as by a physical cripple； and as you do not intend
to have him on your hands all your life； and are generally rather impatient
for the day when he will earn his own living an
