the book of snobs-第22章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



without　an　innate　longing　too　to　quit　the　Island　along

with　those　happy　Snobs）。　　Farewell；　dear　friends；　I　say：

you　little　know　that　the　individual　who　regards　you　from

the　beach　is　your　friend　and　historiographer　and　brother。



I　went　to…day　to　see　our　excellent　friend　Snooks；　on

board　the　'Queen　of　the　French；'　many　scores　of　Snobs

were　there；　on　the　deck　of　that　fine　ship；　marching　forth

in　their　pride　and　bravery。　　They　will　be　at　Ostend　in

four　hours；　they　will　inundate　the　Continent　next　week；

they　will　carry　into　far　lands　the　famous　image　of　the

British　Snob。　　I　shall　not　see　thembut　am　with　them　in

spirit：　and　indeed　there　is　hardly　a　country　in　the　known

and　civilized　world　in　which　these　eyes　have　not　beheld

them。



I　have　seen　Snobs；　in　pink　coats　and　hunting…boots；

scouring　over　the　Campagna　of　Rome；　and　have　heard　their

oaths　and　their　well…known　slang　in　the　galleries　of　the

Vatican；　and　under　the　shadowy　arches　of　the　Colosseum。

I　have　met　a　Snob　on　a　dromedary　in　the　desert；　and

picnicking　under　the　Pyramid　of　Cheops。　　I　like　to　think

how　many　gallant　British　Snobs　there　are；　at　this　minute

of　writing；　pushing　their　heads　out　of　every　window　in

the　courtyard　of　'Meurice's'　in　the　Rue　de　Rivoli；　or

roaring　out；　'Garsong；　du　pang；'　'Garsong；　du　Yang；'　or

swaggering　down　the　Toledo　at　Naples；　or　even　how　many

will　be　on　the　look…out　for　Snooks　on　Ostend　Pier；for

Snooks；　and　the　rest　of　the　Snobs　on　board　the　'Queen　of

the　French。'



Look　at　the　Marquis　of　Carabas　and　his　two　carriages。　　My

Lady　Marchioness　comes　on　board；　looks　round　with　that

happy　air　of　mingled　terror　and　impertinence　which

distinguishes　her　ladyship；　and　rushes　to　her　carriage；

for　it　is　impossible　that　she　should　mingle　with　the

other　Snobs　on　deck。　　There　she　sits；　and　will　be　ill　in

private。　　The　strawberry　leaves　on　her　chariot…panels　are

engraved　on　her　ladyship's　heart。　　If　she　were　going　to

heaven　instead　of　to　Ostend；　I　rather　think　she　would

expect　to　have　DES　PLACES　RESERVEES　for　her；　and　would

send　to　order　the　best　rooms。　　A　courier；　with　his　money…

bag　of　office　round　his　shouldersa　huge　scowling

footman；　whose　dark　pepper…and…salt　livery　glistens　with

the　heraldic　insignia　of　the　Carabasesa　brazen…looking；

tawdry　French　FEMME…DE…CHAMBRE　（none　but　a　female　pen　can

do　justice　to　that　wonderful　tawdry　toilette　of　the

lady's…maid　EN　VOYAGE）and　a　miserable　DAME　DE

COMPAGNIE；　are　ministering　to　the　wants　of　her　ladyship

and　her　King　Charles's　spaniel。　　They　are　rushing　to　and

fro　with　eau…de…Cologne；　pocket…handkerchiefs；　which　are

all　fringe　and　cipher；　and　popping　mysterious　cushions

behind　and　before；　and　in　every　available　corner　of　the

carriage。



The　little　Marquis；　her　husband　is　walking　about　the　deck

in　a　bewildered　manner；　with　a　lean　daughter　on　each　arm：

the　carroty…tufted　hope　of　the　family　is　already　smoking

on　the　foredeck　in　a　travelling　costume　checked　all　over；

and　in　little　lacquer…tip　pod　jean　boots；　and　a　shirt

embroidered　with　pink　boa…constrictors。　　'What　is　it　that

gives　travelling　Snobs　such　a　marvellous　propensity　to

rush　into　a　costume？　　Why　should　a　man　not　travel　in　a

coat；　&c。？　but　think　proper　to　dress　himself　like　a

harlequin　in　mourning？　　See；　even　young　Aldermanbury；　the

tallow…merchant；　who　has　just　stepped　on　board；　has　got　a

travelling…dress　gaping　all　over　with　pockets；　and　little

Tom　Tapeworm；　the　lawyer's　clerk　out　of　the　City；　who　has

but　three　weeks'　leave；　turns　out　in　gaiters　and　a　bran…

new　shooting…jacket；　and　must　let　the　moustaches　grow　on

his　little　sniffy　upper　lip；　forsooth！



Pompey　Hicks　is　giving　elaborate　directions　to　his

servant；　and　asking　loudly；　'Davis；　where's　the　dwessing…

case？'　and　'Davis；　you'd　best　take　the　pistol…case　into

the　cabin。'　　Little　Pompey　travels　with　a　dressing…case；

and　without　a　beard：　whom　he　is　going　to　shoot　with　his

pistols；　who　on　earth　can　tell？　and　what　he　is　to　do　with

his　servant　but　wait　upon　him；　I　am　at　a　loss　to

conjecture。



Look　at　honest　Nathan　Houndsditch　and　his　lady；　and　their

little　son。　　What　a　noble　air　of　blazing　contentment

illuminates　the　features　of　those　Snobs　of　Eastern　race！

What　a　toilette　Houndsditch's　is！　　What　rings　and　chains；

what　gold…headed　canes　and　diamonds；　what　a　tuft　the

rogue　has　got　to　his　chin　（the　rogue！　he　will　never　spare

himself　any　cheap　enjoyment！）　Little　Houndsditch　has　a

little　cane　with　a　gilt　head　and　little　mosaic　ornaments…

…altogether　an　extra　air。　　As　for　the　lady；　she　is　all

the　colours　of　the　rainbow！　she　has　a　pink　parasol；　with

a　white　lining；　and　a　yellow　bonnet；　and　an　emerald　green

shawl；　and　a　shot…silk　pelisse；　and　drab　boots　and

rhubarb…coloured　gloves；　and　parti…coloured　glass

buttons；　expanding　from　the　size　of　a　fourpenny…piece　to

a　crown；　glitter　and　twiddle　all　down　the　front　of　her

gorgeous　costume。　　I　have　said　before；　I　like　to　look　at

'the　Peoples'　on　their　gala　days；　they　are　so

picturesquely　and　outrageously　splendid　and　happy。



Yonder　comes　Captain　Bull；　spick　and　span；　tight　and

trim；　who　travels　for　four　or　six　months　every　year　of

his　life；　who　does　not　commit　himself　by　luxury　of

raiment　or　insolence　of　demeanour；　but　I　think　is　as

great　a　Snob　as　any　man　on　board。　　Bull　passes　the　season

in　London；　sponging　for　dinners；　and　sleeping　in　a　garret

near　his　Club。　　Abroad；　he　has　been　everywhere；　he　knows

the　best　wine　at　every　inn　in　every　capital　in　Europe；

lives　with　the　best　English　company　there；　has　seen　every

palace　and　picture…gallery　from　Madrid　to　Stockholm；

speaks　an　abominable　little　jargon　of　half…a…dozen

languagesand　knows　nothingnothing。　　Bull　hunts　tufts

on　the　Continent；　and　is　a　sort　of　amateur　courier。　　He

will　scrape　acquaintance　with　old　Carabas　before　they

make　Ostend；　and　will　remind　his　lordship　that　he　met　him

at　Vienna　twenty　years　ago；　or　gave　him　a　glass　of

Schnapps　up　the　Righi。　　We　have　said　Bull　knows　nothing：

he　knows　the　birth；　arms；　and　pedigree　of　all　the

peerage；　has　poked　his　little　eyes　into　every　one　of　the

carriages　on　boardtheir　panels　noted　and　their　crests

surveyed；　he　knows　all　the　Continental　stories　of　English

scandalhow　Count　Towrowski　ran　off　with　Miss　Baggs　at

Napleshow　VERY　thick　Lady　Smigsmag　was　with　young

Cornichon　of　the　French　Legation　at　Florencethe　exact

amount　which　Jack　Deuceace　won　of　Bob　Greengoose　at

Badenwhat　it　is　that　made　the　Staggs　settle　on　the

Continent：　the　sum　for　which　the　O'Goggarty　estates　are

mortgaged；　&c。　　If　he　can't　catch　a　lord　he　will　hook　on

to　a　baronet；　or　else　the　old　wretch　will　catch　hold　of

some　beardless　young　stripling　of　fashion；　and　show　him

'life'　in　various　and　amiable　and　inaccessible　quarters。

Faugh！　the　old　brute！　　If　he　has　every　one　of　the　vices

of　the　most　boisterous　youth；　at　least　he　is　comforted　by

having　no　conscience。　　He　is　utterly　stupid；　but　of　a

jovial　turn；　He　believes　himself　to　be　quite　a

respectable　member　of　society：　but　perhaps　the　only　good

action　he　ever　did　in　his　life　is　the　involuntary　one　of

giving　an　example　to　be　avoided；　and　showing　what　an

odious　thing　in　the　social　picture　is　that　figure　of　the

debauched　old　man　who　passes　through　life　rather　a

decorous　Silenus；　and　dies　some　day　in　his　garret；　alone；

unrepenting；　and　unnoted；　save　by　his　astonished　heirs；

who　find　that　the　dissolute　old　miser　has　left　money

behind　him。　　See！　he　is　up　to　old　Carabas　already！　　I

told　you　he　would。



Yonder　you　see　the　old　Lady　Mary　MacScrew；　and　those

middle…aged　young　women　her　daughters；　they　are　going　to

cheapen　and　haggle　in　Belgium　and　up　the　Rhine　until　they

meet　with　a　boarding…house　where　they　can　live　upon　less

board…wages　than　her　ladyship　pays　her　footmen。　　But　she

will　exact　and　receive　considerable　respect　from　the

British　Snobs　located　in　the　watering　place　which　she

selects　for　her　summer　residence；　being　the　daughter