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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��
impatience and irritation�察�I manfully strove to suppress all visible signs of
molestation�察 �and affected to sit with calm indifference�察 �waiting till it
should please him to cease this pastime�察 �and prepare for a run in the
garden�察�by casting his eye on the book and reading or repeating the few
words he was required to say。 Sometimes he was determined to do his
writing badly�察�and I had to hold his hand to prevent him from purposely
blotting or disfiguring the paper。 Frequently I threatened that�察�if he did
not do better�察 �he should have another line�此 �then he would stubbornly
refuse to write this line�察�and I�察�to save my word�察�had finally to resort to the
expedient of holding his fingers upon the pen�察 �and forcibly drawing his
hand up and down�察�till�察�in spite of his resistance�察�the line was in some sort
completed。
Yet Tom was by no means the most unmanageable of my pupils�此�
sometimes�察�to my great joy�察�he would have the sense to see that his wisest
policy was to finish his tasks�察�and go out and amuse himself till I and his
sisters came to join him�察�which frequently was not at all�察 �for Mary Ann
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seldom followed his example in this particular�此 �she apparently preferred
rolling on the floor to any other amusement�此 �down she would drop like a
leaden weight�察�and when I�察�with great difficulty�察�had succeeded in rooting
her thence�察�I had still to hold her up with one arm�察�while with the other I
held the book from which she was to read or spell her lesson。 As the
dead weight of the big girl of six became too heavy for one arm to bear�察�I
transferred it to the other�察�or�察�if both were weary of the burden�察�I carried
her into a corner�察�and told her she might come out when she should find
the use of her feet�察�and stand up�此�but she generally preferred lying there
like a log till dinner or teatime�察�when�察 �as I could not deprive her of her
meals�察�she must be liberated�察�and would come crawling out with a grin of
triumph on her round�察 �red face。 Often she would stubbornly refuse to
pronounce some particular word in her lesson�察�and now I regret the lost
labour I have had in striving to conquer her obstinacy。 If I had passed it
over as a matter of no consequence�察 �it would have been better for both
parties�察 �than vainly striving to overcome it as I did�察 �but I thought it my
absolute duty to crush this vicious tendency in the bud�此 �and so it was�察�if I
could have done it�察 �and had my powers been less limited�察 �I might have
enforced obedience�察�but�察�as it was�察�it was a trial of strength between her
and me�察 �in which she generally came off victorious�察 �and every victory
served to encourage and strengthen her for a future contest。 In vain I
argued�察�coaxed�察�entreated�察�threatened�察�scolded�察�in vain I kept her in from
play�察�or�察�if obliged to take her out�察 �refused to play with her�察�or to speak
kindly or have anything to do with her�察�in vain I tried to set before her the
advantages of doing as she was bid�察�and being loved�察�and kindly treated in
consequence�察�and the disadvantages of persisting in her absurd perversity。
Sometimes�察 �when she would ask me to do something for her�察 �I would
answer�察 � 'Yes�察�I will�察�Mary Ann�察�if you will only say that word。 Come� �
you'd better say it at once�察�and have no more trouble about it。'
'No。'
'Then�察�of course�察�I can do nothing for you。'
With me�察 �at her age�察 �or under�察 �neglect and disgrace were the most
dreadful of punishments�察�but on her they made no impression。 Sometimes�察�
exasperated to the utmost pitch�察 �I would shake her violently by the
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AGNES GREY
shoulder�察 �or pull her long hair�察 �or put her in the corner�察 �for which she
punished me with loud�察 �shrill�察 �piercing screams�察 �that went through my
head like a knife。 She knew I hated this�察�and when she had shrieked her
utmost�察 �would look into my face with an air of vindictive satisfaction�察�
exclaiming�察 � 'NOW�察 �then� �THAT'S for you��' and then shriek again and
again�察�till I was forced to stop my ears。 Often these dreadful cries would
bring Mrs。 Bloomfield up to inquire what was the matter�拭�
'Mary Ann is a naughty girl�察�ma'am。'
'But what are these shocking screams��'
'She is screaming in a passion。'
'I never heard such a dreadful noise� �You might be killing her。 Why
is she not out with her brother��'
'I cannot get her to finish her lessons。'
'But Mary Ann must be a GOOD girl�察�and finish her lessons。' This
was blandly spoken to the child。 'And I hope I shall NEVER hear such
terrible cries again��'
And fixing her cold�察�stony eyes upon me with a look that could not be
mistaken�察�she would shut the door�察�and walk away。 Sometimes I would
try to take the little obstinate creature by surprise�察�and casually ask her the
word while she was thinking of something else�察 �frequently she would
begin to say it�察 �and then suddenly cheek herself�察 �with a provoking look
that seemed to say�察�'Ah� �I'm too sharp for you�察�you shan't trick it out of me�察�
either。'
On another occasion�察�I pretended to forget the whole affair�察�and talked
and played with her as usual�察 �till night�察 �when I put her to bed�察 �then
bending over her�察�while she lay all smiles and good humour�察�just before
departing�察�I said�察�as cheerfully and kindly as before ´ 'Now�察�Mary Ann�察�just
tell me that word before I kiss you good´night。 You are a good girl now�察�
and�察�of course�察�you will say it。'
'No�察�I won't。'
'Then I can't kiss you。'
'Well�察�I don't care。'
In vain I expressed my sorrow�察�in vain I lingered for some symptom of
contrition�察 �she really 'didn't care��' and I left her alone�察 �and in darkness�察�
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wondering most of all at this last proof of insensate stubbornness。 In MY
childhood I could not imagine a more afflictive punishment than for my
mother to refuse to kiss me at night�此 �the very idea was terrible。 More
than the idea I never felt�察�for�察�happily�察�I never committed a fault that was
deemed worthy of such penalty�察 �but once I remember�察 �for some
transgression of my sister's�察�our mother thought proper to inflict it upon
her�此�what SHE felt�察�I cannot tell�察�but my sympathetic tears and suffering
for her sake I shall not soon forget。
Another troublesome trait in Mary Ann was her incorrigible propensity
to keep running into the nursery�察�to play with her little sisters and the nurse。
This was natural enough�察�but�察�as it was against her mother's express desire�察�
I�察�of course�察�forbade her to do so�察�and did my utmost to keep her with me�察�
but that only increased her relish for the nursery�察�and the more I strove to
keep her out of it�察�the oftener she went�察�and the longer she stayed�察�to the
great dissatisfaction of Mrs。 Bloomfield�察�who�察�I well knew�察�would impute
all the blame of the matter to me。