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old age among strangers。 



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                                 Worldly Ways and Byways 



         CHAPTER 12 ´ ;Seven Ages; of 

                                  Furniture 



       THE progress through life of active´minded Americans is apt to be a 

series     of   transformations。       At   each     succeeding      phase    of    mental 

development�察�an old skin drops from their growing intelligence�察�and they 

assimilate the ideas and tastes of their new condition�察�with a facility and 

completeness unknown to other nations。 

     One series of metamorphoses particularly amusing to watch is�察�that of 

an observant�察�receptive daughter of Uncle Sam who�察�aided and followed 

��at   a   distance��   by   an   adoring   husband�察  �gradually   develops   her   excellent 

brain�察�and rises through fathoms of self´culture and purblind experiment�察�

to   the  surface    of  dilettantism   and   connoisseurship。      One    can   generally 

detect the exact stage of evolution such a lady has reached by the bent of 

her conversation�察�the books she is reading�察�and�察�last but not least�察�by her 

material surroundings�察�no outward and visible signs reflecting inward and 

spiritual grace so clearly as the objects people collect around them for the 

adornment of their rooms�察�or the way in which those rooms are decorated。 

     A few years ago�察�when a young man and his bride set up housekeeping 

on    their  own    account�察   �the   ;old   people;    of  both   families    seized   the 

opportunity   to   unload   on   the   beginners   ��under   the   pretence   of   helping 

them     along��   a  quantity    of  furniture   and    belongings     that  had   ��as  the 

shopkeepers   say��   ;ceased   to   please;   their   original   owners。   The   narrow 

quarters   of   the   tyros   are   encumbered   by   ungainly   sofas   and   arm´chairs�察�

most probably of carved rosewood。 ETAGERES OF the same lugubrious 

material grace the corners of their tiny drawing´ room�察�the bits of mirror 

inserted    between     the  shelves    distorting   the  image    of   the  owners    into 

headless   or   limbless   phantoms。   Half   of   their   little   dining´room   is   filled 

with a black´walnut sideboard�察�ingeniously contrived to take up as much 

space as possible and hold nothing�察�its graceless top adorned with a stag's 

head carved in wood and imitation antlers。 

     The    novices    in  their  innocence     live  contented     amid   their  hideous 

surroundings   for  a   year  or   two�察  �when   the   wife   enters her   second   epoch�察�



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which�察  �for   want   of   a   better   word�察  �we   will   call   the  Japanese   period。  The 

grim     furniture    gradually    disappears     under    a  layer   of   silk  and    gauze 

draperies�察�the bare walls blossom with paper umbrellas�察�fans are nailed in 

groups promiscuously�察�wherever an empty space offends her eye。 Bows of 

ribbon are attached to every possible protuberance of the furniture。 Even 

the table service is not spared。 I remember dining at a house in this stage 

of   its  artistic  development�察      �where    the  marrow      bones   that   formed    one 

course   of   the   dinner   appeared   each   with   a   coquettish   little   bow´knot   of 

pink ribbon around its neck。 

     Once launched on this sea of adornment�察�the housewife soon loses her 

bearings and decorates indiscriminately。 Her old evening dresses serve to 

drape   the   mantelpieces�察  �and   she   passes   every   spare   hour   embroidering�察�

braiding�察�or fringing some material to adorn her rooms。 At Christmas her 

friends contribute specimens of their handiwork to the collection。 

     The view of other houses and other decorations before long introduces 

the worm of discontent into the blossom of our friend's contentment。 The 

fruit   of   her   labors   becomes   tasteless   on   her   lips。 As   the   finances   of   the 

family  are   satisfactory�察  �the   re´   arrangement   of   the   parlor   floor   is   ��at   her 

suggestion�� confided to a firm of upholsterers�察�who make a clean sweep of 

the rosewood and the bow´knots�察�and retire�察�after some months of labor�察�

leaving the delighted wife in possession of a suite of rooms glittering with 

every monstrosity that an imaginative tradesman�察�spurred on by unlimited 

credit�察�could devise。 

     The   wood   work   of   the   doors   and   mantels   is   an   intricate   puzzle   of 

inlaid woods�察�the ceilings are panelled and painted in complicated designs。 

The     ;parlor;   is  provided     with   a  complete     set   of  neat�察  �old´gold    satin 

furniture�察�puffed at its angles with peacock´colored plush。 

     The   monumental   folding   doors   between   the   long�察  �narrow   rooms   are 

draped with the same chaste combination of stuffs。 

     The dining´room blazes with a gold and purple wall paper�察�set off by 

ebonized      wood     work    and   furniture。    The   conscientious      contractor     has 

neglected no   corner。  Every square   inch   of the ceilings�察 �walls�察 �and   floors 

has    been    carved�察   �embossed�察     �stencilled�察   �or  gilded    into   a  bewildering 

monotony。 



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     The husband�察�whose affairs are rapidly increasing on his hands�察�has no 

time to   attend to such insignificant details   as house  decoration�察 �the  wife 

has    perfect    confidence      in  the  taste   of   the  firm    employed。      So   at  the 

suggestion of the latter�察�and in order to complete the beauty of the rooms�察�

a Bouguereau�察�a Toulmouche and a couple of Schreyers are bought�察�and a 

number   of   modern   French   bronzes   scattered   about   on   the   multicolored 

cabinets。  Then�察  �at   last�察  �the   happy   owners   of   all   this   splendor   open   their 

doors to the admiration of their friends。 

     About the time the peacock plush and the gilding begin to show signs 

of wear and tear�察�rumors of a fresh fashion in decoration float across from 

England�察�and the new gospel of the beautiful according to Clarence Cook 

is first preached to an astonished nation。 

     The fortune of our couple continuing to develop with pleasing rapidity�察�

the   building   of   a   country   house   is   next   decided   upon。   A   friend   of   the 

husband�察  �who   has   recently   started   out   as   an   architect�察  �designs   them   a 

picturesque   residence   without   a   straight   line   on   its   exterior   or   a   square 

room inside。 This house is done up in strict obedience to the teachings of 

the new sect。 The dining´room is made about as cheerful as the entrance to 

a   family   vault。   The   rest   of   the   house   bears   a   close   resemblance   to   an 

ecclesiastical junk shop。 The entrance hall is filled with what appears to be 

a communion table in solid oak�察�and the massive chairs and settees of the 

parlor    suggest     the  withdrawing       room     of  Rowena�察     �aesthetic    shades    of 

momie´cloth        drape    deep´set     windows�察     �where     anaemic      and   disjointed 

females in stained glass pluck conventional roses。 

     To    each   of   these   successive     transitions    the   husband     has   remained 

obediently and tranquilly indifferent。 He has in his heart considered them 

all equally unfitting and uncomfortable and sighed in regretful memory of 

a deep�察�old´fashioned arm´chair that sheltered his after´dinner naps in the 

early   rosewood   period。   So   far   he   has   been   as   clay   in   the   hands   of   his 

beloved wife�察�but the anaemic ladies and the communion table are the last 

drop that causes his cup to overflow。 He revolts and begins to take matters 

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