pride and prejudice(傲慢与偏见)-第62章
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been concerned together； and if you do not absolutely reject it as
false； you will； I hope； acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Mr。
Wickham。 I know not in what manner； under what form of
falsehood he has imposed on you； but his success is not perhaps to
be wondered at。 Ignorant as you previously were of every thing
concerning either； detection could not be in your power； and
suspicion certainly not in your inclination。 You may possibly
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wonder why all this was not told you last night。 But I was not then
master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be
revealed。 For the truth of every thing here related； I can appeal
more particularly to the testimony of Colonel Fitzwilliam； who
from our near relationship and constant intimacy； and still more
as one of the executors of my father’s will； has been unavoidably
acquainted with every particular of these transactions。 If your
abhorrence of me should make my assertions valueless； you cannot
be prevented by the same cause from confiding in my cousin； and
that there may be the possibility of consulting him； I shall
endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your
hands in the course of the morning。 I will only add； God bless you。
‘Fitzwilliam Darcy。’
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CHAPTER XIII
f Elizabeth； when Mr。 Darcy gave her the letter； did not
expect it to contain a renewal of his offers； she had formed no
I
expectation at all of its contents。 But such as they were； it
may be well supposed how eagerly she went through them； and
what a contrariety of emotion they excited。 Her feelings as she
read were scarcely to be defined。 With amazement did she first
understand that he believed any apology to be in his power； and
steadfastly was she persuaded that he could have no explanation
to give； which a just sense of shame would not conceal。 With a
strong prejudice against every thing he might say； she began his
account of what had happened at Netherfield。 She read； with an
eagerness which hardly left her power of comprehension； and
from impatience of knowing what the next sentence might bring；
was incapable of attending to the sense of the one before her eyes。
His belief of her sister’s insensibility； she instantly resolved to be
false； and his account of the real； the worst objections to the
match； made her too angry to have any wish of doing him justice。
He expressed no regret for what he had done which satisfied her；
his style was not penitent； but haughty。 It was all pride and
insolence。
But when this subject was succeeded by his account of Mr。
Wickham； when she read with somewhat clearer attention； a
relation of events； which； if true； must overthrow every cherished
opinion of his worth； and which bore so alarming an affinity to his
own history of himself； her feelings were yet more acutely painful
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and more difficult of definition。 Astonishment； apprehension； and
even horror； oppressed her。 She wished to discredit it entirely；
repeatedly exclaiming； ‘This must be false！ This cannot be！ This
must be the grossest falsehood！’—and when she had gone through
the whole letter； though scarcely knowing any thing of the last
page or two； put it hastily away； protesting that she would not
regard it； that she would never look in it again。
In this perturbed state of mind； with thoughts that could rest on
nothing； she walked on； but it would not do； in half a minute the
letter was unfolded again； and collecting herself as well as she
could； she again began the mortifying perusal of all that related to
Wickham； and commanded herself so far as to examine the
meaning of every sentence。 The account of his connection with the
Pemberley family； was exactly what he had related himself； and
the kindness of the late Mr。 Darcy； though she had not before
known its extent； agreed equally well with his own words。 So far
each recital confirmed the other： but when she came to the will；
the difference was great。 What Wickham had said of the living was
fresh in her memory； and as she recalled his very words； it was
impossible not to feel that there was gross duplicity on one side or
the other； and； for a few moments； she flattered herself that her
wishes did not err。 But when she read； and re…read with the
closest attention； the particulars immediately following of
Wickham’s resigning all pretensions to the living； of his receiving
in lieu； so considerable a sum as three thousand pounds； again
was she forced to hesitate。 She put down the letter； weighed every
circumstance with what she meant to be impartiality—deliberated
on the probability of each statement—but with little success。 On
both sides it was only assertion。 Again she read on。 But every line
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proved more clearly that the affair； which she had believed it
impossible that any contrivance could so represent； as to render
Mr。 Darcy’s conduct in it less than infamous； was capable of a turn
which must make him entirely blameless throughout the whole。
The extravagance and general profligacy which he scrupled not
to lay to Mr。 Wickham’s charge； exceedingly shocked her； the
more so； as she could bring no proof of its injustice。 She had never
heard of him before his entrance into the —shire Militia； in which
he had engaged at the persuasion of the young man； who； on
meeting him accidentally in town； had there renewed a slight
acquaintance。 Of his former way of life； nothing had been known
in Hertfordshire but what he told himself。 As to his real character；
had information been in her power； she had never felt a wish of
enquiring。 His countenance； voice； and manner； had established
him at once in the possession of every virtue。 She tried to recollect
some instance of goodness； some distinguished trait of integrity or
benevolence； that might rescue him from the attacks of Mr。 Darcy；
or at least； by the predominance of virtue； atone for those casual
errors； under which she would endeavour to class； what Mr。 Darcy
had described as the idleness and vice of many year
