crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第114章
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straining every faculty to penetrate Porfiry's game； 〃I was quite
myself； do you hear？〃
〃Yes； I hear and understand。 You said yesterday you were not
delirious； you were particularly emphatic about it！ I understand all
you can tell me！ A…ach！。。。 Listen； Rodion Romanovitch； my dear fellow。
If you were actually a criminal； or were somehow mixed up in this
damnable business； would you insist that you were not delirious but in
full possession of your faculties？ And so emphatically and
persistently？ Would it be possible？ Quite impossible； to my
thinking。 If you had anything on your conscience； you certainly
ought to insist that you were delirious。 That's so； isn't it？〃
There was a note of slyness in this inquiry。 Raskolnikov drew back
on the sofa as Porfiry bent over him and stared in silent perplexity
at him。
〃Another thing about Razumihin… you certainly ought to have said
that he came of his own accord； to have concealed your part in it！ But
you don't conceal it！ You lay stress on his coming at your
instigation。〃
Raskolnikov had not done so。 A chill went down his back。
〃You keep telling lies；〃 he said slowly and weakly； twisting his
lips into a sickly smile； 〃you are trying again to show that you
know all my game； that you know all I shall say beforehand；〃 he
said； conscious himself that he was not weighing his words as he
ought。 〃You want to frighten me。。。 or you are simply laughing at
me。。。〃
He still stared at him as he said this and again there was a light
of intense hatred in his eyes。
〃You keep lying；〃 he said。 〃You know perfectly well that the best
policy for the criminal is to tell the truth as nearly as
possible。。。 to conceal as little as possible。 I don't believe you！〃
〃What a wily person you are！〃 Porfiry tittered； 〃there's no catching
you； you've a perfect monomania。 So you don't believe me？ But still
you do believe me； you believe a quarter； I'll soon make you believe
the whole； because I have a sincere liking for you and genuinely
wish you good。〃
Raskolnikov's lips trembled。
〃Yes； I do；〃 went on Porfiry； touching Raskolnikov's arm genially；
〃you must take care of your illness。 Besides； your mother and sister
are here now； you must think of them。 You must soothe and comfort them
and you do nothing but frighten them。。。〃
〃What has that to do with you？ How do you know it？ What concern is
it of yours？ You are keeping watch on me and want to let me know it？〃
〃Good heavens！ Why； I learnt it all from you yourself！ You don't
notice that in your excitement you tell me and others everything。 From
Razumihin； too； I learnt a number of interesting details yesterday。
No； you interrupted me； but I must tell you that； for all your wit；
your suspiciousness makes you lose the common…sense view of things。 To
return to bell…ringing； for instance。 I； an examining lawyer； have
betrayed a precious thing like that； a real fact （for it is a fact
worth having）； and you see nothing in it！ Why； if I had the
slightest suspicion of you； should I have acted like that？ No； I
should first have disarmed your suspicions and not let you see I
knew of that fact； should have diverted your attention and suddenly
have dealt you a knock…down blow （your expression） saying： 'And what
were you doing； sir； pray； at ten or nearly eleven at the murdered
woman's flat and why did you ring the bell and why did you ask about
blood？ And why did you invite the porters to go with you to the police
station； to the lieutenant？' That's how I ought to have acted if I had
a grain of suspicion of you。 I ought to have taken your evidence in
due form； searched your lodging and perhaps have arrested you；
too。。。 so I have no suspicion of you； since I have not done that！
But you can't look at it normally and you see nothing； I say again。〃
Raskolnikov started so that Porfiry Petrovitch could not fail to
perceive it。
〃You are lying all the while；〃 he cried； 〃I don't know your
object； but you are lying。 You did not speak like that just now and
I cannot be mistaken！〃
〃I am lying？〃 Porfiry repeated； apparently incensed； but
preserving a good…humoured and ironical face； as though he were not in
the least concerned at Raskolnikov's opinion of him。 〃I am lying。。。
but how did I treat you just now； I； the examining lawyer？ Prompting
you and giving you every means for your defence； illness； I said；
delirium； injury； melancholy and the police officers and all the
rest of it？ Ah！ He…he…he！ Though； indeed； all those psychological
means of defence are not very reliable and cut both ways： illness；
delirium； I don't remember… that's all right； but why； my good sir； in
your illness and in your delirium were you haunted by just those
delusions and not by any others？ There may have been others； eh？
He…he…he！〃
Raskolnikov looked haughtily and contemptuously at him。
〃Briefly；〃 he said loudly and imperiously； rising to his feet and in
so doing pushing Porfiry back a little； 〃briefly； I want to know； do
you acknowledge me perfectly free from suspicion or not？ Tell me；
Porfiry Petrovitch； tell me once for all and make haste！〃
〃What a business I'm having with you！〃 cried Porfiry with a
perfectly good…humoured； sly and composed face。 〃And why do you want
to know； why do you want to know so much； since they haven't begun
to worry you？ Why； you are like a child asking for matches！ And why
are you so uneasy？ Why do you force yourself upon us； eh？ He…he…he！〃
〃I repeat；〃 Raskolnikov cried furiously； 〃that I can't put up with
it！〃
〃With what？ Uncertainty？〃 interrupted Porfiry。
〃Don't jeer at me！ I won't have it！ I tell you I won't have it。 I
can't and I won't； do you hear； do you hear？〃 he shouted； bringing his
fist down on the table again。
〃Hush！ Hush！ They'll overhear！ I warn you seriously； take care of
yourself。 I am not joking；〃 Porfiry whispered； but this time there was
not the look of old womanish good…nature and alarm in his face。 Now he
was peremptory； stern； frowning and for once laying aside all
mystification。
But this was only for an instant。 Raskolnikov； bewildered；
suddenly fell into actual frenzy； but； strange to say； he again obeyed
the command to speak quietly； though he was in a perfect paroxysm of
fury。
〃I will not allow myself to be tortured；〃 he whispered； instantly
recognising with hatred that he could not help obeying the command and
driven to even greater f
