crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第132章
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Katerina Ivanovna； considering her to blame for everything。
〃Out of my lodgings！ At once！ Quick march！〃
And with these words she began snatching up everything she could lay
her hands on that belonged to Katerina Ivanovna； and throwing it on
the floor； Katerina Ivanovna； pale； almost fainting； and gasping for
breath； jumped up from the bed where she had sunk in exhaustion and
darted at Amalia Ivanovna。 But the battle was too unequal： the
landlady waved her away like a feather。
〃What！ As though that godless calumny was not enough… this vile
creature attacks me！ What！ On the day of my husband's funeral I am
turned out of my lodgings！ After eating my bread and salt she turns me
into the street； with my orphans！ Where am I to go？〃 wailed the poor
woman； sobbing and gasping。 〃Good God！〃 she cried with flashing
eyes； 〃is there no justice upon earth？ Whom should you protect if
not us orphans？ We shall see！ There is law and justice on earth； there
is； I will find it！ Wait a bit； godless creature！ Polenka； stay with
the children； I'll come back。 Wait for me； if you have to wait in
the street。 We will see whether there is justice on earth！〃
And throwing over her head that green shawl which Marmeladov had
mentioned to Raskolnikov； Katerina Ivanovna squeezed her way through
the disorderly and drunken crowd of lodgers who still filled the room；
and； wailing and tearful； she ran into the street… with a vague
intention of going at once somewhere to find justice。 Polenka with the
two little ones in her arms crouched； terrified； on the trunk in the
corner of the room； where she waited trembling for her mother to
come back。 Amalia Ivanovna raged about the room； shrieking；
lamenting and throwing everything she came across on the floor。 The
lodgers talked incoherently； some commented to the best of their
ability on what had happened； others quarreled and swore at one
another； while others struck up a song。。。。
〃Now it's time for me to go；〃 thought Raskolnikov。 〃Well； Sofya
Semyonovna； we shall see what you'll say now！〃
And he set off in the direction of Sonia's lodgings。
Chapter Four
RASKOLNIKOV had been a vigorous and active champion of Sonia against
Luzhin； although he had such a load of horror and anguish in his own
heart。 But having gone through so much in the morning； he found a sort
of relief in a change of sensations； apart from the strong personal
feeling which impelled him to defend Sonia。 He was agitated too；
especially at some moments； by the thought of his approaching
interview with Sonia： he had to tell her who had killed Lizaveta。 He
knew the terrible suffering it would be to him and； as it were；
brushed away the thought of it。 So when he cried as he left Katerina
Ivanovna's； 〃Well； Sofya Semyonovna； we shall see what you'll say
now！〃 he was still superficially excited； still vigorous and defiant
from his triumph over Luzhin。 But； strange to say； by the time he
reached Sonia's lodging； he felt a sudden impotence and fear。 He stood
still in hesitation at the door； asking himself the strange
question： 〃Must I tell her who killed Lizaveta？〃 It was a strange
question because he felt at the very time not only that he could not
help telling her； but also that he could not put off the telling。 He
did not yet know why it must be so； he only felt it； and the agonising
sense of his impotence before the inevitable almost crushed him。 To
cut short his hesitation and suffering； he quickly opened the door and
looked at Sonia from the doorway。 She was sitting with her elbows on
the table and her face in her hands； but seeing Raskolnikov she got up
at once and came to meet him as though she were expecting him。
〃What would have become of me but for you！〃 she said quickly；
meeting him in the middle of the room。
Evidently she was in haste to say this to him。 It was what she had
been waiting for。
Raskolnikov went to the table and sat down on the chair from which
she had only just risen。 She stood facing him； two steps away； just as
she had done the day before。
〃Well； Sonia？〃 he said； and felt that his voice was trembling； 〃it
was all due to 'your social position and the habits associated with
it。' Did you understand that just now？〃
Her face showed her distress。
〃Only don't talk to me as you did yesterday；〃 she interrupted him。
〃Please don't begin it。 There is misery enough without that。〃
She made haste to smile； afraid that he might not like the reproach。
〃I was silly to come away from there。 What is happening there now？ I
wanted to go back directly； but I kept thinking that。。。 you would
come。〃
He told her that Amalia Ivanovna was turning them out of their
lodging and that Katerina Ivanovna had run off somewhere 〃to seek
justice。〃
〃My God！〃 cried Sonia； 〃let's go at once。。。。〃
And she snatched up her cape。
〃It's everlastingly the same thing！〃 said Raskolnikov； irritably。
〃You've no thought except for them！ Stay a little with me。〃
〃But。。。 Katerina Ivanovna？〃
〃You won't lose Katerina Ivanovna； you may be sure； she'll come to
you herself since she has run out；〃 he added peevishly。 〃If she
doesn't find you here； you'll be blamed for it。。。。〃
Sonia sat down in painful suspense。 Raskolnikov was silent； gazing
at the floor and deliberating。
〃This time Luzhin did not want to prosecute you；〃 he began； not
looking at Sonia； 〃but if he had wanted to； if it had suited his
plans； he would have sent you to prison if it had not been for
Lebeziatnikov and me。 Ah？〃
〃Yes；〃 she assented in a faint voice。 〃Yes；〃 she repeated；
preoccupied and distressed。
〃But I might easily not have been there。 And it was quite an
accident Lebeziatnikov's turning up。〃
Sonia was silent。
〃And if you'd gone to prison； what then？ Do you remember what I said
yesterday？〃
Again she did not answer。 He waited。
〃I thought you would cry out again 'don't speak of it； leave
off。'〃 Raskolnikov gave a laugh； but rather a forced one。 〃What；
silence again？〃 he asked a minute later。 〃We must talk about
something； you know。 It would be interesting for me to know how you
would decide a certain 'problem' as Lebeziatnikov would say。〃 （He
was beginning to lose
