crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第84章
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object of it？ And why on the sly？ Were you in your senses when you did
it？ Now that all danger is over I can speak plainly。〃
〃I was awfully sick of them yesterday。〃 Raskolnikov addressed
Porfiry suddenly with a smile of insolent defiance； 〃I ran away from
them to take lodgings where they wouldn't find me； and took a lot of
money with me。 Mr。 Zametov there saw it。 I say； Mr。 Zametov； was I
sensible or delirious yesterday； settle our dispute。〃
He could have strangled Zametov at that moment； so hated were his
expression and his silence to him。
〃In my opinion you talked sensibly and even artfully； but you were
extremely irritable；〃 Zametov pronounced dryly。
〃And Nikodim Fomitch was telling me to…day；〃 put in Porfiry
Petrovitch； 〃that he met you very late last night in the lodging of
a man who had been run over。〃
〃And there；〃 said Razumihin； 〃weren't you mad then？ You gave your
last penny to the widow for the funeral。 If you wanted to help； give
fifteen or twenty even； but keep three roubles for yourself at
least； but he flung away all the twenty…five at once！〃
〃Maybe I found a treasure somewhere and you know nothing of it？ So
that's why I was liberal yesterday。。。。 Mr。 Zametov knows I've found
a treasure！ Excuse us； please； for disturbing you for half an hour
with such trivialities；〃 he said turning to Porfiry Petrovitch； with
trembling lips。 〃We are boring you； aren't we？〃
〃Oh no； quite the contrary； quite the contrary！ If only you knew how
you interest me！ It's interesting to look on and listen。。。 and I am
really glad you have come forward at last。〃
〃But you might give us some tea！ My throat's dry；〃 cried Razumihin。
〃Capital idea！ Perhaps we will all keep you company。 Wouldn't you
like。。。 something more essential before tea？〃
〃Get along with you！〃
Porfiry Petrovitch went out to order tea。
Raskolnikov's thoughts were in a whirl。 He was in terrible
exasperation。
〃The worst of it is they don't disguise it； they don't care to stand
on ceremony！ And how if you didn't know me at all； did you come to
talk to Nikodim Fomitch about me？ So they didn't care to hide that
they are tracking me like a pack of dogs。 They simply spit in my
face。〃 He was shaking with rage。 〃Come； strike me openly； don't play
with me like a cat with a mouse。 It's hardly civil； Porfiry
Petrovitch； but perhaps I won't allow it！ I shall get up and throw the
whole truth in your ugly faces； and you'll see how I despise you。〃
He could hardly breathe。 〃And what if it's only my fancy？ What if I am
mistaken； and through inexperience I get angry and don't keep up my
nasty part？ Perhaps it's all unintentional。 All their phrases are
the usual ones； but there is something about them。。。。 It all might
be said； but there is something。 Why did he say bluntly； 'With her'？
Why did Zametov add that I spoke artfully？ Why do they speak in that
tone？ Yes； the tone。。。。 Razumihin is sitting here； why does he see
nothing？ That innocent blockhead never does see anything！ Feverish
again！ Did Porfiry wink at me just now？ Of course it's nonsense！
What could he wink for？ Are they trying to upset my nerves or are they
teasing me？ Either it's ill fancy or they know！ Even Zametov is
rude。。。。 Is Zametov rude？ Zametov has changed his mind。 I foresaw he
would change his mind！ He is at home here； while it's my first
visit。 Porfiry does not consider him a visitor； sits with his back
to him。 They're as thick as thieves； no doubt； over me！ Not a doubt
they were talking about me before we came。 Do they know about the
flat？ If only they'd make haste！ When I said that I ran away to take a
flat he let it pass。。。。 I put that in cleverly about a flat； it may be
of use afterwards。。。。 Delirious； indeed。。。 ha…ha…ha！ He knows all
about last night！ He didn't know of my mother's arrival！ The hag had
written the date on in pencil！ You are wrong； you won't catch me！
There are no facts。。。 it's all supposition！ You produce facts！ The
flat even isn't a fact but delirium。 I know what to say to them。。。。 Do
they know about the flat？ I won't go without finding out。 What did I
come for？ But my being angry now； maybe is a fact！ Fool； how irritable
I am！ Perhaps that's right； to play the invalid。。。。 He is feeling
me。 He will try to catch me。 Why did I come？〃
All this flashed like lightning through his mind。
Porfiry Petrovitch returned quickly。 He became suddenly more jovial。
〃Your party yesterday； brother； has left my head rather。。。。 And I am
out of sorts altogether；〃 he began in quite a different tone； laughing
to Razumihin。
〃Was it interesting？ I left you yesterday at the most interesting
point。 Who got the best of it？〃
〃Oh； no one； of course。 They got on to everlasting questions；
floated off into space。〃
〃Only fancy； Rodya； what we got on to yesterday。 Whether there is
such a thing as crime。 I told you that we talked our heads off。〃
〃What is there strange？ It's an everyday social question；〃
Raskolnikov answered casually。
〃The question wasn't put quite like that；〃 observed Porfiry。
〃Not quite； that's true；〃 Razumihin agreed at once； getting warm and
hurried as usual。 〃Listen； Rodion； and tell us your opinion； I want to
hear it。 I was fighting tooth and nail with them and wanted you to
help me。 I told them you were coming。。。。 It began with the socialist
doctrine。 You know their doctrine； crime is a protest against the
abnormality of the social organization and nothing more； and nothing
more； no other causes admitted！。。。〃
〃You are wrong there；〃 cried Porfiry Petrovitch； he was noticeably
animated and kept laughing as he looked at Razumihin which made him
more excited than ever。
〃Nothing is admitted；〃 Razumihin interrupted with heat。
〃I am not wrong。 I'll show you their pamphlets。 Everything with them
is 'the influence of environment；' and nothing else。 Their favourite
phrase！ From which it follows that； if society is normally
organized； all crime will cease at once； since there will be nothing
to protest against and all men will become righteous in one instant。
Human nature is not taken into account； it is excluded； it's not
supposed to exist！ They don't recognise that humanity； developing by a
historical living process； will become at last a normal society； but
they believe that a social system that has come out of some
mathematical brain is going to organise all humanity at once and
make it just and sinless in an instant； quicker than any living
process！ That's why they instinctively dislike history； 'nothing but
ugliness and stupidity in it；' and they explain it all as stupidity！
That's why they so disli
