tales from two hemispheres[1].(两个半球的故事)-第30章
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dwelt with unspeakable joy upon his strong； bronzed features； his full
thick blonde beard； and the vigorous proportions of his frame。 Many and
many a time during his absence had she wondered how he would look if
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TALES FROM TWO HEMISPHERES。
he ever came back； and with that minute conscientiousness which； as it
were； pervaded her whole character； she had held herself responsible
before God for his fate； prayed for him； and trembled lest evil powers
should gain the ascendency over his soul。
On their way to the house they talked together of many things； but in a
guarded； cautious fashion； and without the cheerful abandonment of
former years。 They both； as it were； groped their way carefully in each
other's minds； and each vaguely felt that there was something in the other's
thought which it was not well to touch unbidden。 Bertha saw that all her
fears for him had been groundless； and his very appearance lifted the
whole weight of responsibility from her breast； and still； did she rejoice at
her deliverance from her burden？ Ah； no； in this moment she knew that
that which she had foolishly cherished as the best and noblest part of
herself； had been but a selfish need of her own heart。 She feared that she
had only taken that interest in him which one feels in a thing of one's own
making； and now； when she saw that he had risen quite above her； that he
was free and strong； and could have no more need of her； she had； instead
of generous pleasure at his success； but a painful sense of emptiness； as if
something very dear had been taken from her。
Ralph； too； was loath to analyze the impression his old love made
upon him。 His feelings were of so complex a nature； he was anxious to
keep his more magnanimous impulses active； and he strove hard to
convince himself that she was still the same to him as she had been before
they had ever parted。 But； alas！ though the heart be warm and generous；
the eye is a merciless critic。 And the man who had moved on the wide
arena of the world； whose mind had housed the large thoughts of this
century； and expanded with its invigorating breath；was he to blame
because he had unconsciously outgrown his old provincial self； and could
no more judge by its standards？
Bertha's father was a peasant； but he had； by his lumber trade； acquired
what in Norway was called a very handsome fortune。 He received his
guest with dignified reserve； and Ralph thought he detected in his eyes a
lurking look of distrust。 〃I know your errand；〃 that look seemed to say；
〃but you had better give it up at once。 It will be of no use for you to try。〃
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TALES FROM TWO HEMISPHERES。
And after supper； as Ralph and Bertha sat talking confidingly with
each other at the window； he sent his daughter a quick； sharp glance； and
then； without ceremony； commanded her to go to bed。 Ralph's heart gave
a great thump within him； not because he feared the old man； but because
his words； as well as his glances； revealed to him the sad history of these
long； patient years。 He doubted no longer that the love which he had
once so ardently desired was his at last； and he made a silent vow that；
come what might； he would remain faithful。
As he came down to breakfast the next morning； he found Bertha
sitting at the window； engaged in hemming what appeared to be a rough
kitchen towel。 She bent eagerly over her work； and only a vivid flush
upon her cheek told him that she had noticed his coming。 He took a chair；
seated himself opposite her； and bade her 〃good…morning。〃 She raised
her head； and showed him a sweet； troubled countenance； which the early
sunlight illumined with a high spiritual beauty。 It reminded him forcibly
of those pale； sweet…faced saints of Fra Angelico； with whom the frail
flesh seems ever on the point of yielding to the ardent aspirations of the
spirit。 And still； even in this moment he could not prevent his eyes from
observing that one side of her forefinger was rough from sewing； and that
the whiteness of her arm； which the loose sleeves displayed； contrasted
strongly with the browned and sun…burned complexion of her hands。
After breakfast they again walked together on the beach； and Ralph；
having once formed his resolution； now talked freely of the New World
of his sphere of activity there； of his friends and of his plans for the future；
and she listened to him with a mild； perplexed look in her eyes； as if trying
vainly to follow the flight of his thoughts。 And he wondered； with secret
dismay； whether she was still the same strong； brave…hearted girl whom he
had once accounted almost bold； whether the life in this narrow valley；
amid a hundred petty and depressing cares； had not cramped her spiritual
growth； and narrowed the sphere of her thought。 Or was she still the
same； and was it only he who had changed？ At last he gave utterance to
his wonder； and she answered him in those grave； earnest tones which
seemed in themselves to be half a refutation of his doubts。
〃It was easy for me to give you daring advice； then； Ralph；〃 she said。
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TALES FROM TWO HEMISPHERES。
〃Like most school… girls； I thought that life was a great and glorious thing；
and that happiness was a fruit which hung within reach of every hand。
Now I have lived for six years trying single…handed to relieve the want and
suffering of the needy people with whom I come in contact； and their
squalor and wretchedness have sickened me； and； what is still worse； I feel
that all I can do is as a drop in the ocean； and after all； amounts to nothing。
I know I am no longer the same reckless girl； who； with the very best
intention； sent you wandering through the wide world； and I thank God
that it proved to be for your good； although the whole now appears quite
incredible to me。 My thoughts have moved so long within the narrow
circle of these mountains that they have lost their youthful elasticity； and
can no more rise above them。〃
Ralph detected； in the midst of her despondency； a spark of her former
fire； and grew eloquent in his endeavors to persuade her that she was
unjust to herself； and that there was but a wider sphere of life needed to
develop all the latent powers of her rich nature。
At the dinner…table； her father again sat eyeing his guest with that same
cold look of distrust and suspicion。 And when the meal was at an end； he
rose abruptly and called his daughter into another room。 Presently Ralph
heard his angry voice resounding through the house； interrupted now and
then by a woman's sobs； and a subdued； passionate pleading。 When
Bertha again entered the room； her eyes were very red； and he saw that she
had been weeping。
