the professor(教授)-第36章
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flatter as he would； I saw his soul lurk behind his smile； and heard
in every one of his smooth phrases a voice interpreting their
treacherous import。
But Zoraide Reuter？ Of course her defection had cut me to the
quick？ That stint； must have gone too deep for any consolations of
philosophy to be available in curing its smart？ Not at all。 The night
fever over； I looked about for balm to that wound also； and found
some nearer home than at Gilead。 Reason was my physician； she
began by proving that the prize I had missed was of little value：
she admitted that； physically； Zoraide might have suited me； but
affirmed that our souls were not in harmony； and that discord
must have resulted from the union of her mind with mine。 She
then insisted on the suppression of all repining； and commanded
me rather to rejoice that I had escaped a snare。 Her medicament
did me good。 I felt its strengthening effect when I met the
directress the next day； its stringent operation on the nerves
suffered no trembling； no faltering； it enabled me to face her with
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firmness； to pass her with ease。 She had held out her hand to me—
that I did not choose to see。 She had greeted me with a charming
smile—it fell on my heart like light on stone。 I passed on to the
estrade； she followed me； her eye； fastened on my face； demanded
of every feature the meaning of my changed and careless manner。
“I will give her an answer；” thought I； and； meeting her gaze full；
arresting； fixing her glance； I shot into her eyes； from my own； a
look； where there was no respect； no love； no tenderness； no
gallantry； where the strictest analysis could detect nothing but
scorn； hardihood； irony。 I made her bear it； and feel it； her steady
countenance did not change； but her colour rose； and she
approached me as if fascinated。 She stepped on to the estrade； and
stood close by my side； she had nothing to say。 I would not relieve
her embarrassment； and negligently turned over the leaves of a
book。
“I hope you feel quite recovered to…day；” at last she said； in a
low tone。
“And I； mademoiselle； hope that you took no cold last night in
consequence of your late walk in the garden。”
Quick enough of comprehension； she understood me directly；
her face became a little blanched—a very little—but no muscle in
her rather marked features moved； and； calm and self…possessed；
she retired from the estrade； taking her seat quietly at a little
distance； and occupying herself with netting a purse。 I proceeded
to give my lesson； it was a “Composition；” i。e。； I dictated certain
general questions； of which the pupils were to compose the
answers from memory； access to books being forbidden。 While
Mdlle Eulalie； Hortense； Caroline； &c。； were pondering over the
string of rather abstruse grammatical interrogatories I had
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propounded； I was at liberty to employ the vacant half hour in
further observing the directress herself。 The green silk purse was
progressing fast in her hands； her eyes were bent upon it； her
attitude； as she sat netting within two yards of me； was still yet
guarded； in her whole person were expressed at once； and with
equal clearness； vigilance and repose—a rare union！ Looking at
her； I was forced； as I had often been before； to offer her good
sense； her wondrous self…control； the tribute of involuntary
admiration。 She had felt that I had withdrawn from her my
esteem； she had seen contempt and coldness in my eye； and to her；
who coveted the approbation of all around her； who thirsted after
universal good opinion； such discovery must have been an acute
wound。 I had witnessed its effect in the momentary pallor of her
cheek…cheek unused to vary； yet how quickly； by dint of self…
control； had she recovered her composure！ With what quiet
dignity she now sat； almost at my side； sustained by her sound and
vigorous sense； no trembling in her somewhat lengthened； though
shrewd upper lip； no coward shame on her austere forehead！
“There is metal there；” I said； as I gazed。 “Would that there
were fire also； living ardour to make the steel glow—then I could
love her。”
Presently I discovered that she knew I was watching her； for
she stirred not； she lifted not her crafty eyelid； she had glanced
down from her netting to her small foot； peeping from the soft
folds of her purple merino gown； thence her eye reverted to her
hand； ivory white； with a bright garnet ring on the forefinger； and
a light frill of lace round the wrist； with a scarcely perceptible
movement she turned her head； causing her nut…brown curls to
wave gracefully。 In these slight signs I read that the wish of her
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heart； the design of her brain； was to lure back the game she had
scared。 A little incident gave her the opportunity of addressing me
again。
While all was silence in the class—silence； but for the rustling of
copy…books and the travelling of pens over their pages—a leaf of
the large folding…door； opening from the hall； unclosed； admitting
a pupil who； after making a hasty obeisance； ensconced herself
with some appearance of trepidation； probably occasioned by her
entering so late； in a vacant seat at the desk nearest the door。
Being seated； she proceeded； still with an air of hurry and
embarrassment； to open her cabas； to take out her books； and；
while I was waiting for her to look up； in order to make out her
identity—for； short…sighted as I was； I had not recognized her at
her entrance—Mdlle Reuter； leaving her chair； approached the
estrade。
“Monsieur Creemsvort；” said she； in a whisper： for when the
schoolrooms were silent； the directress always moved with velvet
tread； and spoke in the most subdued key； enforcing order and
stillness fully as much by example as precept： “Monsieur
Creemsvort； that young person； who has just entered； wishes to
have the advantage of taking lessons with you in English； she is
not a pupil of the house； she is； indeed； in one sense； a teacher； for
she gives instruction in lace…mending； and in little varieties of
ornamental needle…work。 She very properly p
