a far country-第113章
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His words were spoken quietly； but I realized suddenly that the
mysterious force which had drawn me to him now； against my will； was an
intellectual rather than apparently sentimental one； an intellectual
force seeming to comprise within it all other human attractions。 And yet
I felt a sudden contrition。
〃See here； Krebs；〃 I said； 〃I didn't come here to bother you about these
matters； to tire you。 I mustn't stay。 I'll call in again to see how you
arefrom time to time。〃
〃But you're not tiring me；〃 he protested； stretching forth a thin；
detaining hand。 〃I don't want to rot； I want to live and think as long
as I can。 To tell you the truth； Paret； I've been wishing to talk to
youI'm glad you came in。〃
〃You've been wishing to talk to me？〃 I said。
〃Yes； but I didn't expect you'd come in。 I hope you won't mind my saying
so； under the circumstances； but I've always rather liked you； admired
you； even back in the Cambridge days。 After that I used to blame you for
going out and taking what you wanted； and I had to live a good many years
before I began to see that it's better for a man to take what he wants
than to take nothing at all。 I took what I wanted； every man worth his
salt does。 There's your great banker friend in New York whom I used to
think was the arch…fiend。 He took what he wanted； and he took a good
deal； but it happened to be good for him。 And by piling up his
corporations； Ossa on Pelion； he is paving the way for a logical economic
evolution。 How can a man in our time find out what he does want unless
he takes something and gives it a trial？〃
〃Until he begins to feel that it disagrees with him；〃 I said。 〃But then；〃
I added involuntarily； 〃then it may be too late to try something else；
and he may not know what to try。〃 This remark of mine might have
surprised me had it not been for the feelingnow grown definitethat
Krebs had something to give me； something to pass on to me； of all men。
Indeed； he had hinted as much； when he acknowledged a wish to talk to me。
〃What seems so strange；〃 I said； as I looked at him lying back on his
pillows； 〃is your faith that we shall be able to bring order out of all
this chaosyour belief in Democracy。〃
〃Democracy's an adventure；〃 he replied； 〃the great adventure of mankind。
I think the trouble in many minds lies in the fact that they persist in
regarding it as something to be made safe。 All that can be done is to
try to make it as safe as possible。 But no adventure is safelife
itself is an adventure； and neither is that safe。 It's a hazard； as you
and I have found out。 The moment we try to make life safe we lose all
there is in it worth while。〃
I thought a moment。
〃Yes； that's so；〃 I agreed。 On the table beside the bed in company with
two or three other volumes； lay a Bible。 He seemed to notice that my eye
fell upon it。
〃Do you remember the story of the Prodigal Son？〃 he asked。 〃Well； that's
the parable of democracy； of self…government in the individual and in
society。 In order to arrive at salvation； Paret； most of us have to take
our journey into a far country。〃
〃A far country！〃 I exclaimed。 The words struck a reminiscent chord。
〃We have to leave what seem the safe things； we have to wander and suffer
in order to realize that the only true safety lies in development。 We
have first to cast off the leading strings of authority。 It's a delusion
that we can insure ourselves by remaining within its wallswe have to
risk our lives and our souls。 It is discouraging when we look around us
to…day； and in a way the pessimists are right when they say we don't see
democracy。 We see only what may be called the first stage of it； for
democracy is still in a far country eating the husks of individualism；
materialism。 What we see is not true freedom； but freedom run to riot；
men struggling for themselves； spending on themselves the fruits of their
inheritance； we see a government intent on one object aloneexploitation
of this inheritance in order to achieve what it calls prosperity。 And
God is far away。〃
〃Andwe shall turn？〃 I asked。
〃We shall turn or perish。 I believe that we shall turn。〃 He fixed his
eyes on my face。 〃What is it；〃 he asked； 〃that brought you here to me；
to…day？〃
I was silent。
〃The motive； Paretthe motive that sends us all wandering into is
divine； is inherited from God himself。 And the same motive； after our
eyes shall have been opened； after we shall have seen and known the
tragedy and misery of life； after we shall have made the mistakes and
committed the sins and experienced the emptinessthe same motive will
lead us back again。 That； too； is an adventure； the greatest adventure
of all。 Because； when we go back we shall not find the same Godor
rather we shall recognize him in ourselves。 Autonomy is godliness；
knowledge is godliness。 We went away cringing； superstitious； we saw
everywhere omens and evidences of his wrath in the earth and sea and sky；
we burned candles and sacrificed animals in the vain hope of averting
scourges and other calamities。 But when we come back it will be with a
knowledge of his ways； gained at a price；the price he； too； must have
paidand we shall be able to stand up and look him in the face； and all
our childish superstitions and optimisms shall have been burned away。〃
Some faith indeed had given him strength to renounce those things in life
I had held dear； driven him on to fight until his exhausted body failed
him； and even now that he was physically helpless sustained him。 I did
not ask myself； then； the nature of this faith。 In its presence it could
no more be questioned than the light。 It was light； I felt bathed in it。
Now it was soft； suffused： but I remembered how the night before in the
hall； just before he had fallen； it had flashed forth in a smile and
illumined my soul with an ecstasy that yet was anguish。。。。
〃We shall get back；〃 I said at length。 My remark was not a questionit
had escaped from me almost unawares。
〃The joy is in the journey；〃 he answered。 〃The secret is in the search。〃
〃But for me？〃 I exclaimed。
〃We've all been lost； Paret。 It would seem as though we have to be。〃
〃And yet you aresaved；〃 I said； hesitating over the word。
〃It is true that I am content； even happy；〃 he asserted； 〃in spite of my
wish to live。 If there is any secret； it lies； I think； in the struggle
for an open mind； in the keeping alive of a desire to know more and more。
That desire； strangely enough； hasn't lost its strength。 We don't know
whether there is a future life； but if there is； I think it must be a
continuation of this。〃 He paused。 〃I told you I was glad you came in
I've been thinking of you； and I saw you in the hall last night。 You ask
what there is for youI'll tell you；the new generation。〃
〃The new generation。〃
〃That's the task of every man and woman who wakes up。 I've come to see
how little can be done for the great majority of those who have reached
our age。 It's hardbut it's true。 Superstition； sentiment； the habit
of wrong thinking or of not thinking at all have struck in too deep； the
habit of unreasoning acceptance of authority is too paralyzing。 Some may
be stung back into life； spurred on to find out what the world really is；
but not many。 The hope lies in those who are coming after uswe must do
for them what wasn't done for us。 We really didn't have much of a
chance； Paret。 What did our instructors at Harvard know about the age
that was dawning？ what did anybody know？ You can educate yourselfor
rather reeducate yourself。 All this〃and he waved his hand towards his
bookshelves〃all this has sprung up since you and I were at Cambridge；
if we don't try to become familiar with it； if we fail to grasp the point
of view from which it's written； there's little hope for us。 Go away
from all this and get straightened out； make yourself acquainted with the
modern trend in literature and criticism； with modern history； find out
what's being done in the field of education； read the modern sciences；
especially biology； and psychology and sociology； and try to get a
glimpse of the fundamental human needs underlying such phenomena as the
