silas marner(织工马南)-第64章
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compensate in some degree for the greatest demerit of his life
made him feel the air of the room stifling。
“Let us go；” he said； in an undertone。
“We won’t talk of this any longer now；” said Nancy； rising。
“We’re your well…wishers； my dear—and yours too； Marner。 We
shall come and see you again。 It’s getting late now。”
In this way she covered her husband’s abrupt departure； for
Godfrey had gone straight to the door； unable to say more。
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Chapter 20
ancy and Godfrey walked home under the starlight in
Nsilence。 When they entered the oaken parlour； Godfrey
threw himself into his chair； while Nancy laid down her
bonnet and shawl； and stood on the hearth near her husband；
unwilling to leave him even for a few minutes； and yet fearing to
utter any word lest it might jar on his feeling。 At last Godfrey
turned his head towards her； and their eyes met； dwelling in that
meeting without any movement on either side。 That quiet mutual
gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest
or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger—not to be
interfered with by speech or action which would distract the
sensations from the fresh enjoyment of repose。
But presently he put out his hand； and as Nancy placed hers
within it； he drew her towards him； and said—“That’s ended！”
She bent to kiss him； and then said； as she stood by his side；
“Yes； I’m afraid we must give up the hope of having her for a
daughter。 It wouldn’t be right to want to force her to come to us
against her will。 We can’t alter her bringing up and what’s come of
it。”
“No；” said Godfrey； with a keen decisiveness of tone； in contrast
with his usually careless and unemphatic speech； “there’s debts
we can’t pay like money debts； by paying extra for the years that
have slipped by。 While I’ve been putting off and putting off； the
trees have been growing—it’s too late now。 Marner was in the
right in what he said about a man’s turning away a blessing from
his door： it falls to somebody else。 I wanted to pass for childless
once； Nancy—I shall pass for childless now against my wish。”
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Nancy did not speak immediately； but after a little while she
asked； “You won’t make it known； then； about Eppie’s being your
daughter？”
“No； where would be the good to anybody？—only harm。 I must
do what I can for her in the state of life she chooses。 I must see
who it is she’s thinking of marrying。”
“If it won’t do any good to make the thing known；” said Nancy；
who thought she might now allow herself the relief of entertaining
a feeling which she had tried to silence before； “I should be very
thankful for father and Priscilla never to be troubled with knowing
what was done in the past； more than about Dunsey： it can’t be
helped； their knowing that。”
“I shall put it in my will—I think I shall put it in my will。 I
shouldn’t like to leave anything to be found out； like this about
Dunsey；” said Godfrey； meditatively。 “But I can’t see anything but
difficulties that ’ud come from telling it now。 I must do what I can
to make her happy in her own way。 I’ve a notion；” he added； after
a moment’s pause； “it’s Aaron Winthrop she meant she was
engaged to。 I remember seeing him with her and Marner going
away from church。”
“Well； he’s very sober and industrious；” said Nancy； trying to
view the matter as cheerfully as possible。
Godfrey fell into thoughtfulness again。 Presently he looked up
at Nancy sorrowfully； and said—“She’s a very pretty； nice girl；
isn’t she； Nancy？”
“Yes； dear； and with just your hair and eyes： I wondered it had
never struck me before。”
“I think she took a dislike to me at the thought of my being her
father： I could see a change in her manner after that。”
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“She couldn’t bear to think of not looking on Marner as her
father；” said Nancy； not wishing to confirm her husband’s painful
impression。
“She thinks I did wrong by her mother as well as by her。 She
thinks me worse than I am。 But she must think it； she can never
know all。 It’s part of my punishment； Nancy； for my daughter to
dislike me。 I should never have got into that trouble if I’d been
true to you—if I hadn’t been a fool。 I’d no right to expect anything
but evil could come of that marriage—and when I shirked doing a
father’s part too。”
Nancy was silent： her spirit of rectitude would not let her try to
soften the edge of what she felt to be a just compunction。 He spoke
again after a little while； but the tone was rather changed： there
was tenderness mingled with the previous self…reproach。
“And I got you； Nancy； in spite of all； and yet I’ve been
grumbling and uneasy because I hadn’t something else—as if I
deserved it。”
“You’ve never been wanting to me； Godfrey；” said Nancy； with
quiet sincerity。 “My only trouble would be gone if you resigned
yourself to the lot that’s been given us。”
“Well； perhaps it isn’t too late to mend a bit there。 Though it is
too late to mend some things； say what they will。”
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Chapter 21
he next morning； when Silas and Eppie were seated at
their breakfast； he said to her—“Eppie； there’s a thing I’ve
T
had on my mind to do this two year； and now the money’s
been brought back to us； we can do it。 I’ve been turning it over
and over in the night； and I think we’ll set out tomorrow； while the
fine days last。 We’ll leave the house and everything for your
godmother to take care on； and we’ll make a little bundle o’ things
and set out。”
“Where to go； daddy？” said Eppie； in much surprise。
“To my old country—to the town where I was born—up
Lantern Yard。 I want to see Mr。 Paston； the minister： something
may ha’ come out to make ’em know I was innicent o’ the robbery。
And Mr。 Paston was a man with a deal o’ light—I want to speak to
him about the drawing o’ the lots。 And I should like to talk to him
about the religion o’ this countryside； for I partly think he doesn’t
know on it。”
Eppie was very joyful； for there was the prospect not onl
