the hand of ethelberta-第68章

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when　my　bag　is　empty　'twill　shut　up　and　be　only　a　couple　of　boards
under　yer　arm；　and　when　'tis　open　it　will　hold　a'most　anything　you
like　to　put　in　it。　　That　portmantle　didn't　cost　more　than　three
half…crowns　altogether；　and　ten　pound　wouldn't　ha'　got　anything　so
strong　from　a　portmantle　maker；　would　it；　Dan？'

'Well；　no。'

'And　then　you　see；　Berta；'　Sol　continued　in　the　same　earnest　tone；
and　further　exhibiting　the　article；　'I've　made　this　trap…door　in　the
top　with　hinges　and　padlock　complete；　so　that'

'I　am　afraid　it　is　tiring　you　after　your　journey　to　explain　all　this
to　me；'　said　Ethelberta　gently；　noticing　that　a　few　Gallic　smilers
were　gathering　round。　　'Aunt　has　found　a　nice　room　for　you　at　the
top　of　the　staircase　in　that　corner〃Escalier　D〃　you'll　see　painted
at　the　bottomand　when　you　have　been　up　come　across　to　me　at　number
thirty…four　on　this　side；　and　we'll　talk　about　everything。'

'Look　here；　Sol；'　said　Dan；　who　had　left　his　brother　and　gone　on　to
the　stairs。　　'What　a　rum　staircasethe　treads　all　in　little　blocks；
and　painted　chocolate；　as　I　am　alive！'

'I　am　afraid　I　shall　not　be　able　to　go　on　to　Paris　with　you；　after
all；'　Ethelberta　continued　to　Sol。　　'Something　has　just　happened
which　makes　it　desirable　for　me　to　return　at　once　to　England。　　But　I
will　write　a　list　of　all　you　are　to　see；　and　where　you　are　to　go；　so
that　it　will　make　little　difference；　I　hope。'

Ten　minutes　before　this　time　Ethelberta　had　been　frankly　and
earnestly　asked　by　Lord　Mountclere　to　become　his　bride；　not　only　so；
but　he　pressed　her　to　consent　to　have　the　ceremony　performed　before
they　returned　to　England。　　Ethelberta　had　unquestionably　been　much
surprised；　and；　barring　the　fact　that　the　viscount　was　somewhat
ancient　in　comparison　with　herself；　the　temptation　to　close　with　his
offer　was　strong；　and　would　have　been　felt　as　such　by　any　woman　in
the　position　of　Ethelberta；　now　a　little　reckless　by　stress　of
circumstances；　and　tinged　with　a　bitterness　of　spirit　against
herself　and　the　world　generally。　　But　she　was　experienced　enough　to
know　what　heaviness　might　result　from　a　hasty　marriage；　entered　into
with　a　mind　full　of　concealments　and　suppressions　which；　if　told；
were　likely　to　stop　the　marriage　altogether；　and　after　trying　to
bring　herself　to　speak　of　her　family　and　situation　to　Lord
Mountclere　as　he　stood；　a　certain　caution　triumphed；　and　she
concluded　that　it　would　be　better　to　postpone　her　reply　till　she
could　consider　which　of　two　courses　it　would　be　advisable　to　adopt；
to　write　and　explain　to　him；　or　to　explain　nothing　and　refuse　him。
The　third　course；　to　explain　nothing　and　hasten　the　wedding；　she
rejected　without　hesitation。　　With　a　pervading　sense　of　her　own
obligations　in　forming　this　compact　it　did　not　occur　to　her　to　ask
if　Lord　Mountclere　might　not　have　duties　of　explanation　equally　with
herself；　though　bearing　rather　on　the　moral　than　the　social　aspects
of　the　case。

Her　resolution　not　to　go　on　to　Paris　was　formed　simply　because　Lord
Mountclere　himself　was　proceeding　in　that　direction；　which　might
lead　to　other　unseemly　rencounters　with　him　had　she；　too；　persevered
in　her　journey。　　She　accordingly　gave　Sol　and　Dan　directions　for
their　guidance　to　Paris　and　back；　starting　herself　with　Cornelia　the
next　day　to　return　again　to　Knollsea；　and　to　decide　finally　and　for
ever　what　to　do　in　the　vexed　question　at　present　agitating　her。

Never　before　in　her　life　had　she　treated　marriage　in　such　a　terribly
cool　and　cynical　spirit　as　she　had　done　that　day；　she　was　almost
frightened　at　herself　in　thinking　of　it。　　How　far　any　known　system
of　ethics　might　excuse　her　on　the　score　of　those　curious　pressures
which　had　been　brought　to　bear　upon　her　life；　or　whether　it　could
excuse　her　at　all；　she　had　no　spirit　to　inquire。　　English　society
appeared　a　gloomy　concretion　enough　to　abide　in　as　she　contemplated
it　on　this　journey　home；　yet；　since　its　gloominess　was　less　an
essential　quality　than　an　accident　of　her　point　of　view；　that　point
of　view　she　had　determined　to　change。

There　lay　open　to　her　two　directions　in　which　to　move。　　She　might
annex　herself　to　the　easy…going　high　by　wedding　an　old　nobleman；　or
she　might　join　for　good　and　all　the　easy…going　low；　by　plunging　back
to　the　level　of　her　family；　giving　up　all　her　ambitions　for　them；
settling　as　the　wife　of　a　provincial　music…master　named　Julian；　with
a　little　shop　of　fiddles　and　flutes；　a　couple　of　old　pianos；　a　few
sheets　of　stale　music　pinned　to　a　string；　and　a　narrow　back　parlour；
wherein　she　would　wait　for　the　phenomenon　of　a　customer。　　And　each
of　these　divergent　grooves　had　its　fascinations；　till　she　reflected
with　regard　to　the　first　that；　even　though　she　were　a　legal　and
indisputable　Lady　Mountclere；　she　might　be　despised　by　my　lord's
circle；　and　left　lone　and　lorn。　　The　intermediate　path　of　accepting
Neigh　or　Ladywell　had　no　more　attractions　for　her　taste　than　the
fact　of　disappointing　them　had　qualms　for　her　conscience；　and　how
few　these　were　may　be　inferred　from　her　opinion；　true　or　false；　that
two　words　about　the　spigot　on　her　escutcheon　would　sweep　her　lovers'
affections　to　the　antipodes。　　She　had　now　and　then　imagined　that　her
previous　intermarriage　with　the　Petherwin　family　might　efface　much
besides　her　surname；　but　experience　proved　that　the　having　been　wife
for　a　few　weeks　to　a　minor　who　died　in　his　father's　lifetime；　did
not　weave　such　a　tissue　of　glory　about　her　course　as　would　resist　a
speedy　undoing　by　startling　confessions　on　her　station　before　her
marriage；　and　her　environments　now。



36。　THE　HOUSE　IN　TOWN

Returning　by　way　of　Knollsea；　where　she　remained　a　week　or　two；
Ethelberta　appeared　one　evening　at　the　end　of　September　before　her
house　in　Exonbury　Crescent；　accompanied　by　a　pair　of　cabs　with　the
children　and　luggage；　but　Picotee　was　left　at　Knollsea；　for　reasons
which　Ethelberta　explained　when　the　family　assembled　in　conclave。
Her　father　was　there；　and　began　telling　her　of　a　surprising　change
in　Menlovean　unasked…for　concession　to　their　cause；　and　a　vow　of
secrecy　which　he　could　not　account　for；　unless　any　friend　of
Ethelberta's　had　bribed　her。

'O　nothat　cannot　be；'　said　she。　　Any　influence　of　Lord　Mountclere
to　that　effect　was　the　last　thing　that　could　enter　her　thoughts。
'However；　what　Menlove　does　makes　little　difference　to　me　now。'　　And
she　proceeded　to　state　that　she　had　almost　come　to　a　decision　which
would　entirely　alter　their　way　of　living。

'I　hope　it　will　not　be　of　the　sort　your　last　decision　was；'　said　her
mother。

'No；　quite　the　reverse。　　I　shall　not　live　here　in　state　any　longer。
We　will　let　the　house　throughout　as　lodgings；　while　it　is　ours；　and
you　and　the　girls　must　manage　it。　　I　will　retire　from　the　scene
altogether；　and　stay　for　the　winter　at　Knollsea　with　Picotee。　　I
want　to　consider　my　plans　for　next　year；　and　I　would　rather　be　away
from　town。　　Picotee　is　left　there；　and　I　return　in　two　days　with　the
books　and　papers　I　require。'

'What　are　your　plans　to　be？'

'I　am　going　to　be　a　schoolmistressI　think　I　am。'

'A　schoolmistress？'

'Yes。　　And　Picotee　returns　to　the　same　occupation；　which　she　ought
never　to　have　forsaken。　　We　are　going　to　study　arithmetic　and
geography　until　Christmas；　then　I　shall　send　her　adrift　to　finish
her　term　as　pupil…teacher；　while　I　go　into　a　training…school。　　By
the　time　I　have　to　give　up　this　house　I　shall　just　have　got　a　little
country　school。'

'But；'　said　her　mother；　aghast；　'why　not　write　more　poems　and　sell
'em？'

'Why　not　be　a　governess　as　you　were？'　said　her　father。

'Why　not　go　on　with　your　tales　at　Mayfair　Hall？'　said　Gwendoline。

'I'll　answer　as　well　as　I　can。　　I　have　decided　to　give　up　romancing
because　I　cannot　think　of　any　more　that　pleases　me。　　I　have　been
trying　at　Knollsea　for　a　fortnight；　and　it　is　no　use。　　I　will　never
be　a　governess　again：　　I　would　rather　be　a　servant。　　If　I　am　a
schoolmistress　I　shall　be　entirely　free　from　all　contact　with　the
great；　which　is　what　I　desire；　for　I　hate　them；　and　am　getting
almost　as　revolutionary　as　Sol。　　Father；　I　cannot　endure　this　kind
of　existence　any　longer；　I　sleep　at　night　as　if　I　had　committed　a
murder：　　I　sta