hard cash-第157章

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chronicler　or　novelist；　and　yet　（mind　you）　a　year　of　three　hundred　and　sixty…five　days　six　hours；　or　thereabouts；　and　one　in　which　the　quiet；　unobtrusive　troubles　of　our　friends'　hearts；　especially　the　female　hearts；　their　doubts；　divisions；　distresses；　did　not　remitfar　from　it。　Now　this　year　I　propose　to　divide　into　topics；　and　go　by　logical；　rather　than　natural；　sequence　of　events。

　　　　　THE　LOVERS。

Alfred　came　every　day　to　see　Julia；　and　Mrs。　Dodd　invariably　left　the　room　at　his　knock。

At　last　Julia　proposed　to　Alfred　not　to　come　to　the　house　for　the　present；　but　to　accompany　her　on　her　rounds　as　district　visitor。　To　see　and　soothe　the　bitter　calamities　of　the　poor　had　done　her　own　heart　good　in　its　worst　distress；　and　she　desired　to　apply　the　same　medicine　to　her　beloved；　who　needed　it：　that　was　one　thing：　and　then　another　was；　that　she　found　her　own　anger　rising　when　her　mother　left　the　room　at　that　beloved　knock：　and　to　be　angry　with　her　poor　widowed；　mother　was　a　sin。　〃She　is　as　unfortunate　as　I　am　happy；〃　thought　Julia；　〃I　have　got　_mine_　back。〃

Alfred　assented　to　this　arrangement　with　rather　an　ill　grace。　He　misunderstood　Julia；　and　thought　she　was　sacrificing　him　to　what　he　called　her　mother's　injustice。　This　indeed　was　the　interpretation　any　male　would　have　been　pretty　sure　to　put　on　it。　His　soreness；　however；　did　not　go　very　far；　because　she　was　so　kind　and　good　to　him　when　they　were　together。　He　used　to　escort　her　back　to　the　door　of　66：　and　look　imploringly；　but　she　never　asked　him　in。　He　thought　her　hard　for　this。　He　did　not　see　the　tears　that　flowed　for　that　mute　look　of　his　the　moment　the　door　was　closed；　tears　she　innocently　restrained　for　fear　the　sight　of　them　should　make　him　as　unhappy　as　his　imploring　look　made　her。　_Mauvais　calcul！_　She　should　have　cried　right　out。　When　we　men　are　unhappy；　we　like　our　sweethearts　to　be　unhappierthat　consoles　_us。_

But　when　this　had　gone　on　nearly　a　month；　and　no　change；　Alfred　lost　patience：　so　he　lingered　one　day　at　the　door　to　make　a　request。　He　asked　Julia　to　marry　him：　and　so　put　an　end　to　this　state　of　things。

〃Marry　you；　child？〃　cried　Julia；　blushing　like　a　rose　with　surprise　and　pleasure。　〃Oh；　for　shame！〃

After　the　first　thrill；　she　appealed　to　his　candour　whether　that　would　not　be　miserably　selfish　of　her　to　leave　her　poor　mother　in　her　present　distressed　condition。　〃Ah；　Alfred；　_so_　pale；　_so_　spiritless；　and　inconsolable！　My　poor；　poor　mother！〃

〃You　will　have　to　decide　between　us　two　one　day。〃

〃Heaven　forbid！〃　said　Julia；　turning　pale　at　the　very　idea。　But　he　repeated　doggedly　that　it　must　come　to　that；　sooner　or　later。　Then　he　reminded　her　of　their　solemn　engagement；　and　put　it　to　her　whether　it　was　a　moral　proceeding　in　her　to　go　back　from　her　plighted　troth？　What　had　he　done　to　justify　her　in　drawing　back　from　her　word？　〃I　admit；〃　said　he；　〃that　I　have　_suffered_　plenty　of　wrong　for　your　sake：　but　what　have　I　done　wrong？〃

Undeterred　by　the　fear　of　immorality；　the　monotonous　girl　had　but　one　reply　to　his　multiform　reasons：　〃This　is　no　time　for　me　to　abandon　my　mother。〃

〃Ah；　it　is　her　you　love：　you　don't　care　for　me；〃　snapped　Alfred。

〃Don't　I；　dear　Alfred？〃　murmured　Julia。

〃Forgive　me！　I'm　a　ruffian；　a　wretch。〃

〃You　are　my　Alfred。　But　oh；　have　a　little　patience；　dear。〃

〃A　little　patience？　I　have　the　patience　of　Job。　But　even　his　went　at　last。〃

＇I　ought　to　have　said　they　were　in　the　passage　now。　The　encroaching　youth　had　gained　an　entrance　by　agitating　her　so　at　the　door　that　she　had　to　ask　him　in　to　hide　her　own　blushes　from　the　public。＇　She　now　gently　reminded　him　how　much　happier　they　were　than　they　had　been　for　months。　〃Dear　me；〃　said　she；　〃I　am　almost　happy：　happier　than　I　ought　to　be；　could　be　quite　so；　but　that　I　see　you　discontented。〃

〃Ah；　you　have　so　many　about　you　that　you　love：　I　have　only　you。〃

〃And　that　is　true；　my　poor　Alfred。〃

This　softened　him　a　little；　and　then　she　interwove　her　fingers　together；　and　so　put　both　palms　softly　on　his　shoulder　（you　never　saw　a　male　do　that；　and　never　will）；　and　implored　him　to　be　patient；　to　be　generous。　〃Oh；〃　said　she；　〃　if　you　knew　the　distress　it　gives　me　to　refuse　to　you　anything　on　earth；　you　would　be　generous；　and　not　press　me　when　my　heart　says　'Yes；'　but　my　lips　_must_　say　'No。'〃

This　melted　him　altogether；　and　he　said　he　would　not　torment　her　any　more。

But　he　went　away　discontented　with　himself　for　having　yielded：　my　lord　did　not　call　it　〃yielding；〃　but　〃being　defeated。〃　And　as　he　was　not　only　very　deep　in　love；　but　by　nature　combative；　he　took　a　lodging　nearly　opposite　No。　66；　and　made　hot　love　to　her；　as　hot　as　if　the　attachment　was　just　forming。　Her　mother　could　not　go　out　but　he　was　at　the　door　directly：　she　could　not　go　out　but　he　was　at　her　heels。　This　pleased　her　at　first　and　thrilled　her　with　the　sense　of　sweet　and　hot　pursuit：　but　by…and…by；　situated　as　she　was　between　him　and　her　mother；　it　worried　her　a　little　at　times；　and　made　her　nervous。　She　spoke　a　little　sharply　to　him　now　and　then。　And　that　was　new。　It　came　from　the　nerves；　not　the　heart。　At　last　she　advised　him　to　go　back　to　Oxford。　〃I　shall　be　the　ruin　of　your　mind　if　we　go　on　like　this；〃　said　she　sadly。

〃What；　leave　the　field　to　my　rivals？　No；　thank　you。〃

〃What　rivals；　sir？〃　asked　Julia；　drawing　up。

〃Your　mother；　your　brother；　your　curates　that　would　come　buzzing　the　moment　I　left；　your　sick　people；　who　bask　on　your　smiles　and　your　sweet　voice　till　I　envy　them：　Sarah；　whom　you　permit　to　brush　your　lovely　hair；　the　piano　you　play　on；　the　air　you　deign　to　breathe　and　brighten；　everybody　and　everything　that　is　near　you；　they　are　all　my　rivals；　and　shall　I　resign　you　to　them；　and　leave　myself　desolate？　I'm　not　such　a　fool。〃

She　smiled；　and　could　not　help　feeling　it　was　sweet　to　be　pestered。　So　she　said　with　matronly　dignity；　and　the　old　Julian　consistency；　〃You　are　a　foolish　impetuous　boy。　You　are　the　plague　of　my　life：　andthe　sun　of　my　existence。〃　That　passed　off　charmingly。　But　presently　his　evil　genius　prompted　Alfred　to　endeavour　to　soften　Mrs。　Dodd　by　letter；　and　induce　her　to　consent　to　his　marriage　with　her　daughter。　He　received　her　answer　at　breakfast…time。　It　was　wonderfully　polite　and　cold；　Mrs。　Dodd　feigned　unmixed　surprise　at　the　proposal；　and　said　that　insanity　being　unfortunately　in　her　own　family；　and　the　suspicion　of　insanity　resting　on　himself；　such　a　union　was　not　to　be　thought　of；　and　therefore；　notwithstanding　her　respect　for　his　many　good　qualities；　she　must　decline　with　thanks　the　honour　he　offered　her。　She　inserted　a　poisoned　sting　by　way　of　postscript。　〃When　you　succeed　in　publicly　removing　the　impression　your　own　relations　share　with　me；　and　when　my　husband　owes　his　restoration　to　you；　instead　of　his　destruction；　of　course　you　will　receive　a　very　different　answer　to　your　proposalshould　you　then　think　it　consistent　with　your　dignity　to　renew　it。〃

As　hostile　testators　used　to　leave　the　disinherited　one　shilling；　not　out　of　a　shilling's　worth　of　kindly　feeling；　but　that　he　might　not　be　able　to　say　his　name　was　omitted　through　inadvertency；　so　Mrs。　Dodd　inserted　this　postscript　merely　to　clench　the　nail　and　tantalise　her　enemy。　It　was　a　masterpiece　of　feminine　spite。

She　would　have　been　wonderstruck　could　she　have　seen　how　Alfred　received　her　missive。

To　be　sure　he　sat　in　a　cold　stupor　of　dejection　for　a　good　half　hour；　but　at　the　end　of　that　time　he　lifted　up　his　head；　and　said　quietly；　〃So　be　it。　I'll　get　the　trial　over；　and　my　sanity　established；　as　soon　as　possible：　and　then　I'll　hire　a　yacht　and　hunt　her　husband　till　I　find　him。〃

Having　settled　this　little　plan；　he　looked　out　for　Julia；　whose　sympathy　he　felt　in　need　of　after　such　a　stern　blow。

She　came　out　much　later　than　usual　that　day；　for　to　tell　the　truth；　her　mother　had　detained　her　to　show　her　Alfred's　letter；　and　her　answer。

〃Ah；　mamma；〃　said　poor　Julia；　〃you　don't　love　me　as　you　did　once。　Poor　Alfred！〃

Mrs。　Dodd　sighed　at　this　reproach；　but　said　she　did　not　deserve　it。　No　mother　in　her　senses　would　consent　to　such　a　match。

Julia　bowed　her　head　submissively　and　went　to　her　duties。　But　when　Alfred　came　to　her　open…mouthed　to　complain　of　her　mother's　cruelty；　she　stopp