the ways of men(人们的手段)-第32章
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THE WAYS OF MEN
CHAPTER 19 … The Genealogical
Craze
THERE undoubtedly is something in the American temperament that
prevents our doing anything in moderation。 If we take up an idea； it is
immediately run to exaggeration and then abandoned； that the nation may
fly at a tangent after some new fad。 Does this come from our climate； or
（as I am inclined to think） from the curiously unclassified state of society
in our country； where so few established standards exist and so few are
sure of their own or their neighbors' standing？ In consequence； if Mrs。
Brown starts anything； Mrs。 Jones； for fear of being left behind；
immediately 〃goes her one better〃 to be in turn 〃raised〃 by Mrs。 Robinson。
In other lands a reasonable pride of birth has always been one of the
bonds holding communities together； and is estimated at its just value。 We；
after having practically ignored the subject for half a century； suddenly
rush to the other extreme； and develop an entire forest of genealogical
trees at a growth。
Chagrined； probably； at the small amount of consideration that their
superior birth commanded； a number of aristocratically minded matrons
united a few years ago as 〃Daughters of the Revolution；〃 restricting
membership to women descended from officers of Washington's army。
There may have been a reason for the formation of this society。 I say
〃may〃 because it does not seem quite clear what its aim was。 The
originators doubtless imagined they were founding an exclusive circle； but
the numbers who clamored for admittance quickly dispelled this illusion。
So a small group of the elect withdrew in disgust and banded together
under the cognomen of 〃Colonial Dames。〃
The only result of these two movements was to awaken envy； hatred；
and malice in the hearts of those excluded from the mysterious rites；
which to outsiders seemed to consist in blackballing as many aspirants as
possible。 Some victims of this bad treatment； thirsting for revenge； struck
on the happy thought of inaugurating an 〃Aztec〃 society。 As that title
conveyed absolutely no idea to any one； its members were forced to
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THE WAYS OF MEN
explain that only descendants of officers who fought in the Mexican War
were eligible。 What the elect did when they got into the circle was not
specified。
The 〃Social Order of Foreign Wars〃 was the next creation； its authors
evidently considering the Mexican campaign as a domestic article； a sort
of family squabble。 Then the 〃Children of 1812〃 attracted attention； both
groups having immediate success。 Indeed； the vogue of these enterprises
has been in inverse ratio to their usefulness or RAISON D'ETRE； people
apparently being ready to join anything rather than get left out in the cold。
Jealous probably of seeing women enjoying all the fun； their husbands
and brothers next banded together as 〃Sons of the Revolution。〃 The wives
retaliated by instituting the 〃Granddaughters of the Revolution〃 and 〃The
Mayflower Order；〃 the 〃price of admission〃 to the latter being descent
from some one who crossed in that celebrated ship … whether as one of the
crew or as passenger is not clear。
It was not； however； in the American temperament to rest content with
modest beginnings； the national motto being； 〃The best is good enough for
me。〃 So wind was quickly taken out of the Mayflower's sails by 〃The
Royal Order of the Crown；〃 to which none need apply who were not
prepared to prove descent from one or more royal ancestors。 It was not
stated in the prospectus whether Irish sovereigns and Fiji Island kings
counted； but I have been told that bar sinisters form a class apart； and are
deprived of the right to vote or hold office。
Descent from any old king was； however； not sufficient for the high…
toned people of our republic。 When you come to think of it； such a circle
might be 〃mixed。〃 One really must draw the line somewhere （as the
Boston parvenu replied when asked why he had not invited his brother to a
ball）。 So the founders of the 〃Circle of Holland Dames of the New
Netherlands〃 drew the line at descent from a sovereign of the Low
Countries。 It does not seem as if this could be a large society； although
those old Dutch pashas had an unconscionable number of children。
The promoters of this enterprise seem nevertheless to have been fairly
successful； for they gave a fete recently and crowned a queen。 To be
acclaimed their sovereign by a group of people all of royal birth is indeed
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an honor。 Rumors of this ceremony have come to us outsiders。 It is said
that they employed only lineal descendants of Vatel to prepare their
banquet； and I am assured that an offspring of Gambrinus acted as butler。
But it is wrong to joke on this subject。 The state of affairs is becoming
too serious。 When sane human beings form a 〃Baronial Order of
Runnymede；〃 and announce in their prospectus that only descendants
through the male line from one （or more） of the forty noblemen who
forced King John to sign the Magna Charta are what our Washington Mrs。
Malaprop would call 〃legible；〃 the action attests a diseased condition of
the community。 Any one taking the trouble to remember that eight of the
original barons died childless； and that the Wars of the Roses swept away
nine tenths of what families the others may have had； that only one man in
England （Lord de Ros） can at the present day PROVE male descent
further back than the eleventh century； must appreciate the absurdity of
our compatriots' pretensions。 Burke's Peerage is acknowledged to be the
most 〃faked〃 volume in the English language； but the descents it attributes
are like mathematical demonstrations compared to the 〃trees〃 that
members of these new American orders climb。
When my class was graduated from Mr。 McMullen's school； we little
boys had the brilliant idea of uniting in a society； but were greatly put
about for an effective name； hitting finally upon that of Ancient Seniors'
Society。 For a group of infants； this must be acknowledged to have been a
luminous inspiration。 We had no valid reason for forming that society； not
being particularly fond of each other。 Living in several cities； we rarely
met after leaving school and had little to say to each other when we did。
But it sounded so fine to be an 〃Ancient Senior；〃 and we hoped in our next
school to impress new companions with that title and make them feel
proper respect for us in consequence。 Pride； however； sustained a fall
when it was pointed out that the initials formed the ominous word 〃Ass。〃
I have a shrewd suspicion that the motives which prompted
