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第4章

the professor at the breakfast table-第4章

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My grandmother's grandmother;said the little man。 Hanged for a

witch。  It does n't seem a great while ago。  I knew my grandmother;

and loved her。  Her mother was daughter to the witch that Chief

Justice Sewall hanged and Cotton Mather delivered over to the Devil。…

…That was Salem; though; and not Boston。  No; not Boston。  Robert

Calef; the Boston merchant; it was that blew them all to…



Never mind where he blew them to;I said; for the little man was

getting red in the face; and I did n't know what might come next。



This episode broke me up; as the jockeys say; out of my square

conversational trot; but I settled down to it again。



A man that knows men; in the street; at their work; human nature in

its shirt…sleeves; who makes bargains with deacons; instead of

talking over texts with them; a man who has found out that there are

plenty of praying rogues and swearing saints in the world;above

all; who has found out; by living into the pith and core of life;

that all of the Deity which can be folded up between the sheets of

any human book is to the Deity of the firmament; of the strata; of

the hot aortic flood of throbbing human life; of this infinite;

instantaneous consciousness in which the soul's being consists;an

incandescent point in the filament connecting the negative pole of a

past eternity with the positive pole of an eternity that is to come;…

…that all of the Deity which any human book can hold is to this

larger Deity of the working battery of the universe only as the films

in a book of gold…leaf are to the broad seams and curdled lumps of

ore that lie in unsunned mines and virgin placers;Oh!I was saying

that a man who lives out…of…doors; among live people; gets some

things into his head he might not find in the index of his 〃Body of

Divinity。〃



I tell you what;the idea of the professions' digging a moat round

their close corporations; like that Japanese one at Jeddo; on the

bottom of which; if travellers do not lie; you could put Park Street

Church and look over the vane from its side; and try to stretch

another such spire across it without spanning the chasm;that idea;

I say; is pretty nearly worn out。  Now when a civilization or a

civilized custom falls into senile dementia; there is commonly a

judgment ripe for it; and it comes as plagues come; from a breath;

as fires come; from a spark。



Here; look at medicine。  Big wigs; gold…headed canes; Latin

prescriptions; shops full of abominations; recipes a yard long;

〃curing〃 patients by drugging as sailors bring a wind by whistling;

selling lies at a guinea apiece;a routine; in short; of giving

unfortunate sick people a mess of things either too odious to swallow

or too acrid to hold; or; if that were possible; both at once。



You don't know what I mean; indignant and not unintelligent

country…practitioner?  Then you don't know the history of medicine;

and that is not my fault。  But don't expose yourself in any outbreak

of eloquence; for; by the mortar in which Anaxarchus was pounded!  I

did not bring home Schenckius and Forestus and Hildanus; and all the

old folios in calf and vellum I will show you; to be bullied by the

proprietor; of a 〃Wood and Bache;〃 and a shelf of peppered sheepskin

reprints by Philadelphia Editors。  Besides; many of the profession

and I know a little something of each other; and you don't think I am

such a simpleton as to lose their good opinion by saying what the

better heads among them would condemn as unfair and untrue?  Now mark

how the great plague came on the generation of drugging doctors; and

in what form it fell。



A scheming drug…vender; (inventive genius;) an utterly untrustworthy

and incompetent observer; (profound searcher of Nature;) a shallow

dabbler in erudition; (sagacious scholar;) started the monstrous

fiction (founded the immortal system) of Homoeopathy。  I am very

fair; you see;…you can help yourself to either of these sets of

phrases。



All the reason in the world would not have had so rapid and general

an effect on the public mind to disabuse it of the idea that a drug

is a good thing in itself; instead of being; as it is; a bad thing;

as was produced by the trick (system) of this German charlatan

(theorist)。  Not that the wiser part of the profession needed him to

teach them; but the routinists and their employers; the 〃general

practitioners;〃 who lived by selling pills and mixtures; and their

drug…consuming customers; had to recognize that people could get

well; unpoisoned。  These dumb cattle would not learn it of

themselves; and so the murrain of Homoeopathy fell on them。



You don't know what plague has fallen on the practitioners of

theology?  I will tell you; then。  It is Spiritualism。  While some

are crying out against it as a delusion of the Devil; and some are

laughing at it as an hysteric folly; and some are getting angry with

it as a mere trick of interested or mischievous persons; Spiritualism

is quietly undermining the traditional ideas of the future state

which have been and are still accepted;not merely in those who

believe in it; but in the general sentiment of the community; to a

larger extent than most good people seem to be aware of。  It need n't

be true; to do this; any more than Homoeopathy need; to do its work。

The Spiritualists have some pretty strong instincts to pry over;

which no doubt have been roughly handled by theologians at different

times。  And the Nemesis of the pulpit comes; in a shape it little

thought of; beginning with the snap of a toe…joint; and ending with

such a crack of old beliefs that the roar of it is heard in all the

ministers' studies of Christendom?  Sir; you cannot have people of

cultivation; of pure character; sensible enough in common things;

large…hearted women; grave judges; shrewd business…men; men of

science; professing to be in communication with the spiritual world

and keeping up constant intercourse with it; without its gradually

reacting on the whole conception of that other life。  It is the folly

of the world; constantly; which confounds its wisdom。  Not only out

of the mouths of babes and sucklings; but out of the mouths of fools

and cheats; we may often get our truest lessons。  For the fool's

judgment is a dog…vane that turns with a breath; and the cheat

watches the clouds and sets his weathercock by them;so that one

shall often see by their pointing which way the winds of heaven are

blowing; when the slow…wheeling arrows and feathers of what we call

the Temples of Wisdom are turning to all points of the compass。



Amen! said the young fellow called John Ten minutes by the

watch。  Those that are unanimous will please to signify by holding up

their left foot!



I looked this young man steadily in the face for about thirty

seconds。  His countenance was as calm as that of a reposing infant。

I think it was simplicity; rather than mischief; with perhaps a

youthful playfulness; that led him to this outbreak。  I have often

noticed that even quiet horses; on a sharp November morning; when

their coats are beginning to get the winter roughness; will give

little sportive demi…kicks; with slight sudden elevation of the

subsequent region of the body; and a sharp short whinny;by no means

intending to put their heels through the dasher; or to address the

driver rudely; but feeling; to use a familiar word; frisky。  This; I

think; is the physiological condition of the young person; John。  I

noticed; however; what I should call a palpebral spasm; affecting the

eyelid and muscles of one side; which; if it were intended for the

facial gesture called a wink; might lead me to suspect a disposition

to be satirical on his part。



Resuming the conversation; I remarked;I am; ex officio; as a

Professor; a conservative。  For I don't know any fruit that clings to

its tree so faithfully; not even a 〃froze…'n'…thaw〃 winter…apple; as

a Professor to the bough of which his chair is made。  You can't shake

him o

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