sense and sensibility(尖崘嚥秤湖)-及104嫗
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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��
mother too� �How could you have consoled her� �I cannot express
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my own abhorrence of myself。 Whenever I looked towards the
past�察�I saw some duty neglected�察 �or some failing indulged。 Every
body seemed injured by me。 The kindness�察�the unceasing kindness
of Mrs。 Jennings�察 �I had repaid with ungrateful contempt。 To the
Middletons�察 �to the Palmers�察 �the Steeles�察 �to every common
acquaintance even�察 �I had been insolent and unjust�察 �with a heart
hardened against their merits�察�and a temper irritated by their very
attention。!To John�察 �to Fanny�察�yes�察 �even to them�察 �little as they
deserve�察�I had given less than their due。 But you�察�you above all�察�
above my mother�察 �had been wronged by me。 I�察 �and only I�察�knew
your heart and its sorrows�察�yet to what did it influence me�拭�not
to any compassion that could benefit you or myself。!Your
example was before me�察 �but to what avail�拭�Was I more
considerate of you and your comfort�拭 �Did I imitate your
forbearance�察�or lessen your restraints�察�by taking any part in those
offices of general complaisance or particular gratitude which you
had hitherto been left to discharge alone�拭�No�察�not less when I
knew you to be unhappy�察 �than when I had believed you at ease�察�
did I turn away from every exertion of duty or friendship�察�scarcely
allowing sorrow to exist but with me�察 �regretting only that heart
which had deserted and wronged me�察�and leaving you�察�for whom I
professed an unbounded affection�察�to be miserable for my sake。 ̄
Here ceased the rapid flow of her self´reproving spirit�察 �and
Elinor�察�impatient to soothe�察�though too honest to flatter�察�gave her
instantly that praise and support which her frankness and her
contrition so well deserved。 Marianne pressed her hand and
replied�察�
^You are very good。!The future must be my proof。 I have laid
down my plan�察�and if I am capable of adhering to it!my feelings
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shall be governed and my temper improved。 They shall no longer
worry others�察 �nor torture myself。 I shall now live solely for my
family。 You�察�my mother�察�and Margaret�察�must henceforth be all the
world to me�察 �you will share my affections entirely between you。
From you�察 �from my home�察 �I shall never again have the smallest
incitement to move�察�and if I do mix in other society�察�it will be only
to shew that my spirit is humbled�察�my heart amended�察�and that I
can practise the civilities�察�the lesser duties of life�察�with gentleness
and forbearance。 As for Willoughby!to say that I shall soon or
that I shall ever forget him�察�would be idle。 His remembrance can
be overcome by no change of circumstances or opinions。 But it
shall be regulated�察 �it shall be checked by religion�察 �by reason�察 �by
constant employment。 ̄
She paused!and added in a low voice�察 �If I could but know his
heart�察�everything would become easy。 ̄
Elinor�察 �who had now been for some time reflecting on the
propriety or impropriety of speedily hazarding her narration�察�
without feeling at all nearer decision than at first�察�heard this�察�and
perceiving that as reflection did nothing�察 �resolution must do all�察�
soon found herself leading to the fact。
She managed the recital�察�as she hoped�察�with address�察�prepared
her anxious listener with caution�察�related simply and honestly the
chief points on which Willoughby grounded his apology�察 �did
justice to his repentance�察 �and softened only his protestations of
present regard。 Marianne said not a word。!She trembled�察 �her
eyes were fixed on the ground�察�and her lips became whiter than
even sickness had left them。 A thousand inquiries sprung up from
her heart�察�but she dared not urge one。 She caught every syllable
with panting eagerness�察�her hand�察�unknowingly to herself�察�closely
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pressed her sister¨s�察�and tears covered her cheeks。
Elinor�察�dreading her being tired�察�led her towards home�察�and till
they reached the door of the cottage�察�easily conjecturing what her
curiosity must be though no question was suffered to speak it�察�
talked of nothing but Willoughby�察�and their conversation together�察�
and was carefully minute in every particular of speech and look�察�
where minuteness could be safely indulged。 As soon as they
entered the house�察�Marianne with a kiss of gratitude and these two
words just articulate through her tears�察 �Tell mama�察院 �withdrew
from her sister and walked slowly up stairs。 Elinor would not
attempt to disturb a solitude so reasonable as what she now
sought�察�and with a mind anxiously pre´arranging its result�察�and a
resolution of reviving the subject again�察�should Marianne fail to do
it�察�she turned into the parlour to fulfil her parting injunction。
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CHAPTER XI
rs。 Dashwood did not hear unmoved the vindication of
her former favourite。 She rejoiced in his being cleared
M
from some part of his imputed guilt�察�she was sorry for
him�察�she wished him happy。 But the feelings of the past could
not be recalled。!Nothing could restore him with a faith
unbroken!a character unblemished�察�to Marianne。 Nothing could
do away the knowledge of what the latter had suffered through his
means�察�nor remove the guilt of his conduct towards Eliza。 Nothing
could replace him�察�therefore�察�in her former esteem�察�nor injure the
interests of Colonel Brandon。
Had Mrs。 Dashwood�察 �like her daughter�察 �heard Willoughby¨s
story from himself!had she witnessed his distress�察 �and been
under the influence of his countenance and his manner�察 �it is
probable that her compassion would have been greater。 But it was
neither in Elinor¨s power�察�nor in her wish�察�to rouse such feelings in
another�察 �by her retailed explanation�察 �as had at first been called
forth in herself。 Reflection had given calmness to her judgment�察�
and sobered her own opinion of Willoughby¨s deserts�察�she
wished�察 �therefore�察 �to declare only the simple truth�察 �and lay open
such facts as were really due to his character�察 �without any
embellishment of tenderness to lead the fancy astray。
In the evening�察 �when they were all three together�察 �Marianne
began voluntarily to speak of him again�察�but that it was not
without an effort�察�the restless�察�unquiet thoughtfulness