brideshead+revisited-第20章
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… golly！' But he did mention it again； some ten days later； as we were lying on the roof of the house； sunbathing and watching through a telescope the Agricultural Show which was in progress in the park below us。 It was a modest two…day show serving the neighbouring parishes； and surviving more as a fair and social gathering than as a centre of serious petition。 A ring was marked out in flags； and round it had been pitched half a dozen tents of varying size； there was a judges' box and some pens for livestock； the largest marquee was for refreshments； and there the farmers congregated in numbers。 Preparations had been going on for a week。 'We shall have to hide；' said Sebastian as the day approached。 'My brother will be here。 He's a big part of the Agricultural Show。' So we lay on the roof under the balustrade。
Brideshead came down by train in the morning and lunched with Colonel Fender； the agent。 I met him for five minutes on his arrival。 Anthony Blanche's description was peculiarly apt； he had the Flyte face； carved by an Aztec。 We could see him now； through the telescope； moving awkwardly among the tenants； stopping to greet the judges in their box； leaning over a pen gazing seriously at the cattle。
'Queer fellow； my brother；' said Sebastian。
'He looks normal enough。'
'Oh； but he's not。 If you only knew； he's much the craziest of us； only it doesn't e out at all。 He's all twisted inside。 He wanted to be a priest； you know。'
'I didn't。'
'I think he still does。 He nearly became a Jesuit； straight from Stonyhurst。 It was awful for mummy。 She couldn't exactly try and stop him； but of course it was the last thing she wanted。 Think what people would have said … the eldest son； it's not as if it had been me。 And poor papa。 The Church has been enough trouble to him without that happening。 There was a frightful to do … monks and monsignori running round the house like mice； and Brideshead just sitting glum and talking about the will of God。 He was the most upset； you see； when papa went abroad … much more than mummy really。 Finally they persuaded him to go to Oxford and think it over for three years。 Now he's trying to make up his mind。 He talks of going into the Guards and into the House of mons and of marrying。 He doesn't know what he wants。 I wonder if I should have been like that； if I'd gone to Stonyhurst。 I should have gone； only papa went abroad before I was old enough； and the first thing he insisted on was my going to Eton。
'Has your father given up religion？'
'Well； he's had to in a way； he only took to it when he married mummy。 When he went off； he left that behind with the rest of us。 You must meet him。 He's a very nice man。'
Sebastian had never spoken seriously of his father before。
I said： 'It must have upset you all when your father went a way。'
'All but Cordelia。 She was too young。 It upset me at the time。 Mummy tried to explain it to the three eldest of us so that we wouldn't hate papa。 I was the only one who didn't。 I believe she wishes I did。 I was always his favourite。 I should be staying with him now； if it wasn't for this foot。 I'm the only one who goes。 Why don't you e too？ You'd like him。'
A man with a megaphone was shouting the results of the last event in the field below； his voice came faintly to us。
'So you see we're a mixed family religiously。 Brideshead and Cordelia are both fervent； Catholics； he's miserable； she's bird…happy； Julia and I are half…heathen； I am happy； I rather think Julia isn't； mummy is popularly believed to be a saint and papa is exmunicated … and I wouldn't know which of them was happy。 Anyway； however you look at it； happiness doesn't seem to have much to do with it； and that's all I want I wish I liked Catholics more。'
'They seem just like other people。'
'My dear Charles； that's exactly what they're not particularly in this country； where they're so few。 It's not just that they're a clique … as a matter of fact； they're at least four cliques all blackguarding each other half the time … but they've got an entirely different outlook on life； everything they think important is different from other people。 They try and hide it as much as they can； but it es out all the time。 It's quite natural； really； that they should。 But you see it's dffficult for semi…heathens like Julia and me。'
We were interrupted in this unusually grave conversation by loud； childish cries from beyond the chimneystacks； 'Sebastian； Sebastian。'
'Good heavens！' said Sebastian； reaching for a blanket。 'That sounds like my sister Cordelia。 Cover yourself up。'
'Where are you？'
There came into view a robust child of ten or eleven； she had the unmistakable family characteristics； but had them ill…arranged in a frank and chubby plainness； two thick old fashioned pigtails hung down her back。
'Go away； Cordelia。 We've got no clothes on。'
'Why？ You're quite decent。 I guessed you were here。 You didn't know I was about； did you？ I came down with Bridey and stopped to see Francis Xavier。' （To me） 'He's my pig。 Then we had lunch with Colonel Fender and then the show。 Francis Xavier got a special mention。 That beast Randal got first with a mangy animal。 Darling Sebastian； I am pleased to see you again。 How's your poor foot？'
'Say how…d'you…do to Mr Ryder。
'0h； sorry。 How d'you do？' All the family charm was in her smile。 'They're all getting pretty boozy down there； so I came away。 I say； who's been painting the office？ I went in to look for a shooting…sick and saw it。'
'Be careful what you say。 It's Mr Ryder。'
'But it's lovely。 I say； did you really？ You are clever。 Why don't you both dress and e down？ There's no one； about。'
'Bridey's sure to bring the judges in。
'But he won't。 I heard making plans not to。 He's very sour today。 He didn't want me to have dinner with you； but I fixed that。 e on。 I'll be in the nursery when you're fit to be seen。'
We were a sombre little party that evening。 Only Cordelia was perfectly at ease； rejoicing in the food； the lateness of the hour； and her brothers' pany。 Brideshead was three years older than Sebastian and I； but he seemed of another generation。 He had the physical tricks of his family； and his smile； when it rarely came； was as lovely as theirs； he spoke； in their voice； with a gravity and restraint which in my cousin jasper would have sounded pompous and false； but in him was plainly unassumed and unconscious。
'I am so sorry to miss so much of your visit；' he said to me。 'You are being looked after properly？ I hope Sebastian is seeing to the wine。 Wilcox is apt to be rather grudging when he is on his own。'
'He's treated us very liberally。'
'I am delighted to hear it。 You are fond of wine？'
'Very。'
'I wish I were。 It is such a bond with other men。 At Magdalen I tried to get drunk more than once； but I did not enjoy it。 Beer and whisky I find even less appetizing。 Events like this afternoon's are a torment to me in consequence。'
'I like wine；' said Cordelia。
'My sister Cordelia's last report said that she was not only the worst girl in the school； but the worst there had ever been in the memory of the oldest nun。'
'That's because I refused to be an Enfant de Marie。 Reverend Mother said that if I didn't keep my room tidier I couldn't be one one； so I said； well； I won't be one； and I don't believe our Blessed Lasy cares two hoots whether I put my gym shoes on the left or the right of my dancing shoes。 Reverend Mother was livid。
'Our Lady cares about obedience。'
'Bridey； you mustn't be pious；' said Sebastian。 'We've got an atheist with us。'
'Agnostic；' I said。
'Really？ Is there much of that at your college？ There was a certain amount at Magdalen。'
'I really don't know。 I was one long before I went to Oxford。'
'It's everywhere；' said Brideshead。
Religion seemed an inevitable topic that day。 For some time we talked about the Agricultural Show。 Then Brideshead said； 'I saw the Bishop in London last week。 You know； he wants to close our chapel。'
'Oh； he couldn't；' said Cordelia。
'I don't think mummy will let him； ' said Sebastian。
'It's too far away；' said Brideshead。 'The
