brideshead+revisited-第51章
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e quite you。'
In Europe my wife was sometimes taken for an American because of her dapper and jaunty way of dressing； and the curiously hygienic quality of her prettiness； in America she assumed an English softness and reticence。 She arrived a day or two before me； and was on the pier when my ship docked。
'It has been a long time；' she said fondly when we met。
She had not joined the expedition； she explained to our friends that the country was unsuitable and she had her son at home。 There was also a daughter now； she remarked； and it came back to me that there had been talk of this before I started； as an additional reason for her staying behind。 There had been some mention of it； too； in her letters。
'I don't believe you read my letters；' she said that night； when at last； late； after a dinner party and some hours at a cabaret； we found ourselves alone in our hotel bedroom。
'Some went astray。 I remember distinctly your telling me that the daffodils in the orchard were a dream； that the nursery…maid was a jewel； that the Regency four…poster was a find； but frankly I do not remember hearing that your new baby was called Caroline'。 Why did you call it that？'
'After Charles； of course。'
'I made Bertha Van Halt godmother。 I thought she was safe for a good present。 What do you think she gave？'
'Bertha Van Halt is a well…known trap。 What？'
'A fifteen shilling book…token。 Now that Johnjohn has a panion … '
'Who？'
'Your son； darling。 You haven't forgotten him； too？'
'For Christ's sake；' I said； 'why do you call him that？'
'It's the name he invented for himself。 Don't you think it sweet？ Now that Johnjohn has a panion I think we'd better not have any more for some time； don't you？'
'Just as you please。'
'Johnjohn talks of you such a lot。 He prays every night for your safe return。'
She talked in this way while she undressed with an effort to appear at ease； then she sat at the dressing table； ran a b through her hair； and with her bare back towards me； looking at herself in the glass； said： 'Shall I put my face to bed？'
It was a familiar phrase； one that I did not like； she meant should she remove her make…up； cover herself with grease and put her hair in a net。
'No；' I said； 'not at once。'
Then she knew what was wanted。 She had neat； hygienic ways for that too； but there were both relief and triumph in her smile of wele； later we parted and lay in our twin beds a yard or two distant； smoking。 I looked at my watch； it was four o'clock； but neither of us was ready to sleep； for in that city there is neurosis in the air which the inhabitants mistake for energy。
'I don't believe you've changed at all； Charles。'
'No； I'm afraid not。'
'D'you want to change？'
'It's the only evidence of life。'
'But you might change so that you didn't love me any more。'
'There is that risk。'
'Charles； you haven't stopped loving me。'
'You said yourself I hadn't changed。'
'Well； I'm beginning to think you have。 I haven't。'
'No；' I said； 'no； I can see that。'
'Were you at all frightened at meeting me today？'
'Not the least。'
'You didn't wonder if I should have fallen in love with someone else in the meantime？'
'No。 Have you？'
'You know I haven't。 Have you？'
'No。 I'm not in love。'
My wife seemed content with this answer。 She had married me six years ago at the time of my first exhibition； and had done much since then to push our interests。 People said she had 'made' me； but she herself took credit only for supplying me with a congenial background； she had firm faith in my genius and in the 'artistic temperament'； and in the principle that things done on the sly are not really done at all。
Presently she said： 'Looking forward to getting home？' （My father gave me as a wedding present the price of a house； and I bought an。 old rectory in my wife's part of the country。） 'I've got a surprise for you。'
'Yes？'
'I've turned the old barn into a studio for you； so that you needn't be disturbed by the children or when we have people to stay。 I got Emden to do it。 Everyone thinks it a great success。
There was an article on it in Country Life； I bought it for you to see。'
She showed me the article： '。。。happy example of architectural good manners。。。Sir Joseph Emden's tactful adaptation of traditional material to modern needs。。。'； there were some photographs； wide oak boards now covered the earthen floor； a high； stone…mullioned bay…window had been built in the north wall； and the great timbered roof； which before had been lost in shadow； now stood out stark； well lit； with clean white plaster between the beams； it looked like a village hall。 I remembered the smell of the place； which would now be lost。
'I rather liked that barn。' I said。
'But you'll be able to work there； won't you？'
'After squatting in a cloud of sting…fly；' I said； 'under a sun which scorched the paper off the block as I drew； I could work on the top of an omnibus。 I expect the vicar would like to borrow the place for whist drives。'
'There's a lot of work waiting for you。 I promised Lady Anchorage you would do Anchorage House as soon as you got back。 That's ing down； too； you know … shops underneath and two…roomed flats above。 You don't think； do you； Charles； that all this exotic work you've been doing； is going to spoil you for that sort of thing？'
'Why should it？'
'Well； it's so different。 Don't be cross。'
'It's just another jungle closing in。'
'I know just how you feel； darling。 The Georgian Society made such a fuss； but we couldn't do anything。。。Did you ever get my letter about Boy？'
'Did I？ What did it say？'
（'Boy' Mulcaster was her brother。）
'About his engagement。 It doesn't matter now because it's all off； but father and mother were terribly upset。 She was an awful girl。 They had to give her money in the end。'
'No； I heard nothing of Boy。'
'He and Johnjohn are tremendous friends； now。 It's so sweet to see them together。 Whenever he es the first thing he does is to drive straight to the Old Rectory。 He just walks into the house； pays no attention to anyone else； and hollers out： 〃Where's my chum Johnjohn？〃 and Johnjohn es tumbling downstairs and off they go into the spinney together and play for hours。 You'd think； to hear them talk to each other； they were the same age。 It was really Johnjohn who made him see reason about that girl； seriously； you know； he's frightfully sharp。 He must have heard mother and me talking because next time Boy came he said： 〃Uncle Boy shan't marry horrid girl and leave Johnjohn；〃 and that was the very day he settled for two thousand pounds out of court。 Johnjohn admires Boy so tremendously and imitates him in everything。 It's so good for them both。'
I crossed the room and tried once more； ineffectively； to moderate the heat of the radiators； I drank some iced water and opened the window； but； besides the sharp night air； music was borne in from the next room where they were playing the wireless。 I shut it and turned back towards my wife。
At length she began talking again； more drowsily 'The garden's e on a lot。。。The box hedges you planted grew five inches last year。。。I had some men down from London to put the tennis court right。。。first…class cook at the moment。。。'
As the city below us began to wake； we both fell asleep； but not for long； the telephone rang and a voice of hermaphroditic gaiety said： 'Savoy…Carlton…Hotel…goodmorning。 It is now a quarter of eight。'
'I didn't ask to be called； you know。'
'Pardon me？'
'Oh； it doesn't matter。'
'You're wele。'
As I was shaving； my wife from the bath said： 'Just like old times。 I'm not worrying any more； Charles。'
'Good。'
'I was so terribly afraid that two years might have made a difference。 Now I know we can start again exactly where we left off。'
'When？' I asked。 'What？ When we left off what？'
When you went away； of course。'
'You are not thinking of something else； a little time before？'
'Oh； Charles； that's old history。 That was nothing。 It was never anything。 It's all over and forgotten。'
'I just
