half a life-time ago-第7章

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been　there；　I　could　have　called　out　the　sense　that　is　in　him。〃



〃Well！　　I'll　not　say　more　to…night；　Susan。　　You're　not　taking　it

rightly；　and　I'd　best　be　gone；　and　leave　you　to　think　it　over。　　I'll

not　deny　they　are　hard　words　to　hear；　but　there's　sense　in　them；　as　I

take　it；　and　I　reckon　you'll　have　to　come　to　'em。　　Anyhow；　it's　a　bad

way　of　thanking　me　for　my　pains；　and　I　don't　take　it　well　in　you；

Susan；〃　said　he；　getting　up；　as　if　offended。



〃Michael；　I'm　beside　myself　with　sorrow。　　Don't　blame　me　if　I　speak

sharp。　　He　and　me　is　the　only　ones；　you　see。　　And　mother　did　so

charge　me　to　have　a　care　of　him！　　And　this　is　what　he's　come　to；　poor

lile　chap！〃　　She　began　to　cry；　and　Michael　to　comfort　her　with

caresses。



〃Don't；〃　said　she。　　〃It's　no　use　trying　to　make　me　forget　poor　Willie

is　a　natural。　　I　could　hate　myself　for　being　happy　with　you；　even　for

just　a　little　minute。　　Go　away；　and　leave　me　to　face　it　out。〃



〃And　you'll　think　it　over；　Susan；　and　remember　what　the　doctor　says？〃



〃I　can't　forget；〃　said　she。　　She　meant　she　could　not　forget　what　the

doctor　had　said　about　the　hopelessness　of　her　brother's　case；　Michael

had　referred　to　the　plan　of　sending　Willie　to　an　asylum；　or　madhouse；

as　they　were　called　in　that　day　and　place。　　The　idea　had　been

gathering　force　in　Michael's　mind　for　some　time；　he　had　talked　it

over　with　his　father；　and　secretly　rejoiced　over　the　possession　of

the　farm　and　land　which　would　then　be　his　in　fact；　if　not　in　law；　by

right　of　his　wife。　　He　had　always　considered　the　good　penny　her

father　could　give　her　in　his　catalogue　of　Susan's　charms　and

attractions。　　But　of　late　he　had　grown　to　esteem　her　as　the　heiress

of　Yew　Nook。　　He；　too；　should　have　land　like　his　brotherland　to

possess；　to　cultivate；　to　make　profit　from；　to　bequeath。　　For　some

time　he　had　wondered　that　Susan　had　been　so　much　absorbed　in　Willie's

present；　that　she　had　never　seemed　to　look　forward　to　his　future；

state。　　Michael　had　long　felt　the　boy　to　be　a　trouble；　but　of　late　he

had　absolutely　loathed　him。　　His　gibbering；　his　uncouth　gestures；　his

loose；　shambling　gait；　all　irritated　Michael　inexpressibly。　　He　did

not　come　near　the　Yew　Nook　for　a　couple　of　days。　　He　thought　that　he

would　leave　her　time　to　become　anxious　to　see　him　and　reconciled　to

his　plan。　　They　were　strange　lonely　days　to　Susan。　　They　were　the

first　she　had　spent　face　to　face　with　the　sorrows　that　had　turned　her

from　a　girl　into　a　woman；　for　hitherto　Michael　had　never　let　twenty…

four　hours　pass　by　without　coming　to　see　her　since　she　had　had　the

fever。　　Now　that　he　was　absent；　it　seemed　as　though　some　cause　of

irritation　was　removed　from　Will；　who　was　much　more　gentle　and

tractable　than　he　had　been　for　many　weeks。　　Susan　thought　that　she

observed　him　making　efforts　at　her　bidding；　and　there　was　something

piteous　in　the　way　in　which　he　crept　up　to　her；　and　looked　wistfully

in　her　face；　as　if　asking　her　to　restore　him　the　faculties　that　he

felt　to　be　wanting。



〃I　never　will　let　thee　go；　lad。　　Never！　　There's　no　knowing　where

they　would　take　thee　to；　or　what　they　would　do　with　thee。　　As　it　says

in　the　Bible；　'Nought　but　death　shall　part　thee　and　me！'〃



The　country…side　was　full；　in　those　days；　of　stories　of　the　brutal

treatment　offered　to　the　insane；　stories　that　were；　in　fact；　but　too

well　founded；　and　the　truth　of　one　of　which　only　would　have　been　a

sufficient　reason　for　the　strong　prejudice　existing　against　all　such

places。　　Each　succeeding　hour　that　Susan　passed；　alone；　or　with　the

poor　affectionate　lad　for　her　sole　companion；　served　to　deepen　her

solemn　resolution　never　to　part　with　him。　　So；　when　Michael　came；　he

was　annoyed　and　surprised　by　the　calm　way　in　which　she　spoke；　as　if

following　Dr。　Preston's　advice　was　utterly　and　entirely　out　of　the

question。　　He　had　expected　nothing　less　than　a　consent；　reluctant　it

might　be；　but　still　a　consent；　and　he　was　extremely　irritated。　　He

could　have　repressed　his　anger；　but　he　chose　rather　to　give　way　to

it；　thinking　that　he　could　thus　best　work　upon　Susan's　affection；　so

as　to　gain　his　point。　　But；　somehow；　he　over…reached　himself；　and　now

he　was　astonished　in　his　turn　at　the　passion　of　indignation　that　she

burst　into。



〃Thou　wilt　not　bide　in　the　same　house　with　him；　say'st　thou？　　There's

no　need　for　thy　biding；　as　far　as　I　can　tell。　　There's　solemn　reason

why　I　should　bide　with　my　own　flesh　and　blood　and　keep　to　the　word　I

pledged　my　mother　on　her　death…bed；　but；　as　for　thee；　there's　no　tie

that　I　know　on　to　keep　thee　fro'　going　to　America　or　Botany　Bay　this

very　night；　if　that　were　thy　inclination。　　I　will　have　no　more　of

your　threats　to　make　me　send　my　bairn　away。　　If　thou　marry　me；

thou'lt　help　me　to　take　charge　of　Willie。　　If　thou　doesn't　choose　to

marry　me　on　those　termswhy；　I　can　snap　my　fingers　at　thee；　never

fear。　　I'm　not　so　far　gone　in　love　as　that。　　But　I　will　not　have

thee；　if　thou　say'st　in　such　a　hectoring　way　that　Willie　must　go　out

of　the　houseand　the　house　his　own　toobefore　thoul't　set　foot　in

it。　　Willie　bides　here；　and　I　bide　with　him。〃



〃Thou　hast　may…be　spoken　a　word　too　much；〃　said　Michael；　pale　with

rage。　　〃If　I　am　free；　as　thou　say'st；　to　go　to　Canada；　or　Botany　Bay；

I　reckon　I'm　free　to　live　where　I　like；　and　that　will　not　be　with　a

natural　who　may　turn　into　a　madman　some　day；　for　aught　I　know。

Choose　between　him　and　me；　Susy；　for　I　swear　to　thee；　thou　shan't

have　both。〃



〃I　have　chosen；〃　said　Susan；　now　perfectly　composed　and　still。

〃Whatever　comes　of　it；　I　bide　with　Willie。〃



〃Very　well；〃　replied　Michael；　trying　to　assume　an　equal　composure　of

manner。　　〃Then　I'll　wish　you　a　very　good　night。〃　　He　went　out　of　the

house　door；　half…expecting　to　be　called　back　again；　but；　instead；　he

heard　a　hasty　step　inside；　and　a　bolt　drawn。



〃Whew！〃　said　he　to　himself；　〃I　think　I　must　leave　my　lady　alone　for　a

week　or　two；　and　give　her　time　to　come　to　her　senses。　　She'll　not

find　it　so　easy　as　she　thinks　to　let　me　go。〃



So　he　went　past　the　kitchen…window　in　nonchalant　style；　and　was　not

seen　again　at　Yew　Nook　for　some　weeks。　　How　did　he　pass　the　time？

For　the　first　day　or　two；　he　was　unusually　cross　with　all　things　and

people　that　came　athwart　him。　　Then　wheat…harvest　began；　and　he　was

busy；　and　exultant　about　his　heavy　crop。　　Then　a　man　came　from　a

distance　to　bid　for　the　lease　of　his　farm；　which；　by　his　father's

advice；　had　been　offered　for　sale；　as　he　himself　was　so　soon　likely

to　remove　to　the　Yew　Nook。　　He　had　so　little　idea　that　Susan　really

would　remain　firm　to　her　determination；　that　he　at　once　began　to

haggle　with　the　man　who　came　after　his　farm；　showed　him　the　crop　just

got　in；　and　managed　skilfully　enough　to　make　a　good　bargain　for

himself。　　Of　course；　the　bargain　had　to　be　sealed　at　the　public…

house；　and　the　companions　he　met　with　there　soon　became　friends

enough　to　tempt　him　into　Langdale；　where　again　he　met　with　Eleanor

Hebthwaite。



How　did　Susan　pass　the　time？　　For　the　first　day　or　so；　she　was　too

angry　and　offended　to　cry。　　She　went　about　her　household　duties　in　a

quick；　sharp；　jerking；　yet　absent　way；　shrinking　one　moment　from

Will；　overwhelming　him　with　remorseful　caresses　the　next。　　The　third

day　of　Michael's　absence；　she　had　the　relief　of　a　good　fit　of　crying；

and　after　that；　she　grew　softer　and　more　tender；　she　felt　how　harshly

she　had　spoken　to　him；　and　remembered　how　angry　she　had　been。　　She

made　excuses　for　him。　　〃It　was　no　wonder；〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃that

he　had　been　vexed　with　her；　and　no　wonder　he　would　not　give　in；　when

she　had　never　tried　to　speak　gently　or　to　reason　with　him。　　She　was

to　blame；　and　she　would　tell　him　so；　and　tell　him　once　again　all　that

her　mother　had　bade　her　to　be　to　Willie；　and　all　the　horrible　stories

she　had　heard　about　madhouses；　and　he　would　be　on　her　side　at　once。〃



And　so　she　watched　for　his　coming；　intending　to　apologise　as　soon　as

ever　she　saw　him。　　She　hu